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Relationship Health Message Board

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Hi Mike, congratulations again! It sounds like a really promising first date, and I truly hope everything continues to go well as you get to know more about this girl--do we have a name or a nickname we can call her? I was also curious as to what you've been up to dating wise prior to joining this site recently...were you basically taking a break for awhile? Sometimes it's really smart and important to go on a dating hiatus, especially if you start to view it as a tedious and unpleasant process. Generally when we feel motivated to start making efforts to date again, we approach it with renewed energy and optimism and therefore tend to be more appealing and enjoy greater success with the opposite sex when we're coming off a break. In my experience, the best relationships really do start up just when you are least expecting or hoping that they will pop into your life. I know it's too early to talk much like that, but I can't help but be excited and optimistic that you'll be happy dating this girl...hopefully it will be a fun, valuable learning experience no matter how things ultimately work out with her. In the meantime, I'd suggest just trying to focus on the present and enjoy letting everything unfold naturally in its own good time rather than expend your energy thinking too much about the future, which will drive you crazy and is impossible to accurately predict anyway. Itís definitely a good sign that you werenít nervous around her when you met in person, and hey, at least you got the stress of meeting her parents out of the way right off the bat! :)

And Mike, I hope you see that all your worrying about how the conversation would go was unnecessary and keep that lesson in mind next time you find yourself nervous or anxious anticipating something about a girl youíre pursuing. Life is too short to waste your time worrying about things that probably arenít even going to be issues when the time comes to deal with them, and again, I think youíll be happier and find that your relationships proceed more smoothly the more you can stay focused on enjoying the present rather than dwelling at all on either the past or future (which you can never anticipate or predict accurately anyway). One cautionary piece of advice--it's not generally a good idea to get into talking about your exes and your romantic past with a new dating prospect, particularly if you have anything but positive experiences to discuss, because while most people are slightly curious about this stuff, they also don't really want to hear it, and it's just too soon on the first date to get into such heavy, not so pleasant topics like what has gone wrong in past relationships if you ask me. But that's just one person's opinion and it sounds like you're doing just fine for yourself without my advice, so congratulations again, and good luck!! Itís great that you enjoyed your time with her, especially on such a long date, and things definitely sound promising, so best wishes, lots of luck, and please keep us updated as to when and if you chat with her and see her again, as well as whether or not you decide to pursue any other girls from the new dating websiteóso far it sounds like a great site for you! 

PS--Would you mind telling me what it means when people write things like "*shakes head*"? I see that a lot these days but don't understand what it's meant to indicate when asterisks are put around action words like that. Sorry for the non sequitor, but I'm a curious girl who couldn't resist asking...:).

PPSóGoody, itís so great to hear from you again! I feel like I hadnít seen you around for awhile, and I definitely missed your sweetness, kindness, and loving concern for everyone here. Itís just not the same without you, sweetie! (((((Goody))))), I really hope your pain eases up and provides you with some relief or at least isnít any worse than you usually expect if thatís not possible at this point. Iíve cut out pain medication and stopped seeing all but a few doctors, and Iím a lot happier with that approachÖIím also relying on acupuncture, chiropracture, massage, and an exercise program, all of which will hopefully help at least indirectly to help me live a healthier lifestyle and regain more control over my life.

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