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*sigh*

Thanks for all the kind words... However, I knew all this was too good to be true... It always is!

My luck has never seems to fail me. We finally got to talk online today, only for a few mins... but she went into details that she only wants to be friends. I've heard this all too many times and I don't need anymore "girl" friends, as I already have too many.

When we were holding hands last night, I kinda had a feeling the she kinda didn't want to... I guess I was right.

She said she does like me, but she feels that she isn't ready for a relationship right this sec.. and she thinks I am ready. (well, duh, I know I'm ready) and this is what drives me nuts. While I did have a great time last night and it did do me a lot of good... I see it as a waste of $100 which could have gone on my credit card bills, plus getting my hopes up of even the slightest chance of having someone to date... It's just a waste of money, time, and emotional feelings. She also said she is confused and doesn't know if she is ready for a long distance relationship (I don't consider it to be long distance really)

I had such a hard time going out on this date, mainly because of being hurt so much in the past... I nearly called off the date and now I wish I did.

I don't think I will be dating anymore... I just can't handle this crap. Girl saying they want a relationship, go out, and then they say they don't... I just don't get it!!

I've been hurt like this countless numbers of times... and I honestly was at the point where I thought I would just simply be alone for the rest of my life, and was at the point of giving up on relationships... then I started talking to this girl (Her name is Miranda) and the first date went great, I thought we had great chemeistory... and boom, slapped in the face once again.

I was being as much of a gentleman I could be.. Opening Doors, and Car Doors, Paying for everything.. we both laughed together and talked.

*sigh*

I do know that friends first is a great idea, however, I have a friend named Brittney. I was interested in her, but she said we should be friends.. Sure enough, I seen her date all types of guys, have her heart broken many of times.. and now a couple of years later... She's getting married. I don't need something like that in my life again... I don't want to be friends with someone HOPING that it will go into something else then only to see it won't.

What makes things worse is, I had a appointment with a local dating service yesterday... I was supposed to go to that, but I ended up not going but going on the date instead. This local dating service is very expensive (several hundreds of dollars) and very hard to be a member of... and now, I've got nothing as I have screwed up my chances of ever joining the local dating service.

I'm going to lay down so I can think.

Later
[QUOTE=M1K3L]Thanks for all the kind words... However, I knew all this was too good to be true... It always is!

My luck has never seems to fail me. We finally got to talk online today, only for a few mins... but she went into details that she only wants to be friends. I've heard this all too many times and I don't need anymore "girl" friends, as I already have too many.

When we were holding hands last night, I kinda had a feeling the she kinda didn't want to... I guess I was right.

She said she does like me, but she feels that she isn't ready for a relationship right this sec.. and she thinks I am ready. (well, duh, I know I'm ready) and this is what drives me nuts. While I did have a great time last night and it did do me a lot of good... I see it as a waste of $100 which could have gone on my credit card bills, plus getting my hopes up of even the slightest chance of having someone to date... It's just a waste of money, time, and emotional feelings. She also said she is confused and doesn't know if she is ready for a long distance relationship (I don't consider it to be long distance really)

I had such a hard time going out on this date, mainly because of being hurt so much in the past... I nearly called off the date and now I wish I did.

I don't think I will be dating anymore... I just can't handle this crap. Girl saying they want a relationship, go out, and then they say they don't... I just don't get it!!

I've been hurt like this countless numbers of times... and I honestly was at the point where I thought I would just simply be alone for the rest of my life, and was at the point of giving up on relationships... then I started talking to this girl (Her name is Miranda) and the first date went great, I thought we had great chemeistory... and boom, slapped in the face once again.

I do know that friends first is a great idea, however, I have a friend named Brittney. I was interested in her, but she said we should be friends.. Sure enough, I seen her date all types of guys, have her heart broken many of times.. and now a couple of years later... She's getting married. I don't need something like that in my life again... I don't want to be friends with someone HOPING that it will go into something else then only to see it won't.[/QUOTE]

Hi Mike,

I agree with Goody completely, as usual, and I hope you aren't taking this too hard. I'm also very sorry to hear that Miranda didn't feel the same way about you, but unfortunately, we've all had the experience of enjoying a first date that seemed wonderful to us but yet the other person didn't share our interest in getting to know each other further on more than a platonic level. It's an unavoidable part of dating that not everyone you like will reciprocate your feelings, and I really hope you don't let this one incident turn you off to dating women as a group for very long, because this one girl is not representative of how all women will treat you! Somewhere out there is a girl who is absolutely perfect for you because she feels as strongly about you as you do about her, but most people need a lot of life and dating experience before they find that special someone. Many of us are still finding out who we are, growing into becoming independent, self-sufficient adults, and starting out our careers in our twenties, and that's why most people aren't ready or mature enough to pick a compatible partner and settle down until later in life.

I know you are in a rush to settle down, but I hope you will also recognize the value in living life in the present and enjoying each moment as much as possible without being consistently focused on the future. I worry that you compromise your chances of developing a relationship with a woman you like naturally, in however long it takes, because of your tendency to want to rush ahead and imagine settling down right away with someone you just met. You might be a lot more content if you worked on savoring the present without getting ahead of yourself and wishing the present would become the future without taking the time to get to know someone gradually and not rush into anything. Most people just aren't interested in anything that feels at all forced, particularly while still so young, because Goody is really right that few people in their early twenties, at least not well-educated young women who are planning ambitious careers, are eager or even interested in settling down permanently with anyone. If a girl senses that you are really aggressively looking to settle down early on in a relationship, it might scare off someone who would otherwise be a good match for you.

Please understand that I'm not trying to say that this is what happened with Miranda or make you feel worse about things not working out the way you'd hoped with her...that's not my intention at all. I just feel really badly that you get your hopes up, then end up discouraged all so quickly and would like to help you avoid anything like this happening in the future if possible. Again, I don't mean to chastise you for getting ahead of yourself in your thinking or anything, but because the only one it hurts is you, I just hope you can see where you might be able to protect yourself against feeling down because someone you like doesn't turn out to be right for you. There are so many great women out there who could be perfect for you, but you need to keep giving them chances to get to know you, or else you could miss out on the perfect Mrs. Mike! Until then, it's not possible nor is it really desirable for you to avoid all women that you like who don't return your interest until then, and I hope you will rethink viewing women who don't want to settle down with you romantically--as most women aren't right for you anyway, as you would see in time regardless of how intriguing they may seem initially--as a waste of time and not worth befriending. I know that dating is hard and that it can often feels lonely and hopeless, but ultimately, it's really worth the effort to keep putting yourself out there, because otherwise you take what I think you'd see as an intolerable risk of missing out on someone wonderful who could greatly brighten and enrich your life.

Unfortunately for those who are eager to settle down with one person, many of us have to do a lot of dating and meet a wide variety of different people before we have the necessary maturity and experience that we need in order to be ready for a long term commitment to one person. But life is all about enjoying the journey, not being in a rush to get to the destination, and dating can be as wonderful, exciting, and exhilarating as it can be frustrating and disappointing, and so I hope you don't give up on dating because some girls you like haven't turned to be the right partners for you in the end. Anyway, Miranda is only one girl, and while I'm really sorry that things didn't turn out better, I think Goody is quite right that at least she was respectful and considerate enough to let you know how she felt before you expended anymore time, effort, money, and energy on a situation that she didn't see moving forward romantically. It doesn't mean there is anything lacking in you or wrong with you...even the most desirable people in the world come across people who just don't feel that drawn to them for whatever reason. Happily, it only takes that one special person to turn this all around when the time is right, as I'm sure it will be for you before you know it, especially if you focus your energy on enjoying the present as much as you possibly can! Please don't give up on yourself when you have so much potential to love and be loved in return :). Someday you will meet someone wonderful with whom you will want to be both friends and lovers, and she will feel the same way in return, but in the meantime, don't lose heart, OK, and don't feel the need to be friends with girls if your feelings for them make that a painful prospect. You will be fine, this is just a minor setback, and you just need to get back out there and keep trying, as it's only a matter of time before you come across someone else who makes all your dating experiences instantly worthwhile. :) Hang in there and go easy on yourself in the meantime!





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