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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Hi Sophia..
I am 39 I have 4 kids. Divorced. Was married 12 years, my X left me and the kids and moved across country. We hardly hear from him. Hardly get child support. I too feel alne. I too am trying the online dating. I too am depressed about relationships. Yes my family helps alot. I have a small circle of friends. From my earlier posts you will see I met a guy online whom I thought may have actually cared for me. When now I am discovering it was all about sex. I look at it as he is in a relationship for himself. To gratify his own needs. He is the one who has problems not me ..not you.. Then I had hope that another man actually wanted to meet me for me and get to know me. Yet when I wrote back and mentioned I had 4 children whoaaaaaaa nothing. Which is for the best. Cant blame a man who doesnt have children to want a woman who has 4. I am tired of trying to make myself feel better by having a man in my life. i realized that the only person that can make me happy is me. I also realized that I need attention. Who doesnt? I too feel I am an attractive funloving caring woman who has a bigger heart than most men. When i am in a relationship with someone i give my all whether we are together 12 yrs, 3 1 month or hell one day! its just how I am. I think god has intentions for me at this time in my life... Which is to take care of my children, be there for them and NOT be here for another man. I am trying so hard to overcome this obsession I have with needing a man in my life. You and I maybe can struggle through this together. I have been used for sex, money and whatever else. I feel men have been with me like i said to please themselves. The ones i knew only thought with one thing.. Not their BRAIN.... I cant sleep, i lost weight . Im always trying to figure out whats wrong with me? Why cant I keep a man? Why cant i find one? I will be 40 in september. I want to do things I enjoy. with my children and alone. I love hiking! I love just sitting at the top of a mountain and breathing in the fresh air and clearing my mind. With the help from these family and friends I have managed to stay sane. Please feel free to email me if you want to vent with me! My email is [email][COLOR=Sienna][I]REMOVED[/I][/COLOR][/email]. Noone should have to go thru life alone, But take a look around...are you really alone? Its very hard very. I feel lonely, i miss cuddling with a man, but why? I know why... I am not happy with myself. So I needed a man to fill the voids I had deep inside. I am not truly heeled far from it. But I am trying. Sophia..I know how you feel. Our life is just beginning!!!!

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