It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Ok here is something that I know is going on.

I know this man who has 3 mistresses. NOT ONE. But 3. So yes he is a pig for having all of these women that he is cheating with behind his wifes back. But what about the women. I think of them as sl*ts.

Am I wrong. Don't the women getting involved with the married men, aren't they entirely to blame for going after the guy in the first place? I think that alot of men cannot control their hormones, but this is no excuse for men either who do things like this..

Just thinking about this because of what is happening with my fiance and I.

I do not know if he has talked to his friend... I know she has not emailed him though. She talked to him on Saturday, and flirted with him, but not since. It just bothers me that even though she knows he is getting ready to get married that she would come back into his life and tell him that she loves him. I think it is better to left unsaid. I would not have such a problem with her if she had not caused all of this drama. I think some women are just b*tches and do not care.

I have heard so many women I know when I see them hanging out with a guy who is engaged or dating someone else, I ask aren't they with someone, why were you all over them.. the response I always get is oh he is not married, or his wife is not good enough.. blah blah blah.

I just hate this. I know men are bad too, I just find that women I know are 10 times worse in this department. Is it just me? I am sorry I am still frustrated, still controling my tongue and not calling this other girl.. but it just bothers me because this is like the 5th girl in his life who came forward to confess that they loved him or just wanted to screw him (pardon my language) and how am I not supposed to have a problem with these things????? Sorry I am ranting.... He never did anything before and just laughed when those things happened before.. I just wish these women would have more respect for me.. being his.. They see everything we have and everything we have done together and they want it.

No I am not exaggerating. I have been told by several of his female friends. You two have so much at such a young age.. I am your age and I have nothing.. anyone would love to have this lifestyle and trade places with you... so I feel a little threatened...

Sorry ranting.. :blob_fire
Angel you're right, you may be naive, but you are certainly NOT dumb....you have a very valid concern here, and the fact that you're bothered by all this and asking for input shows that you have your wits about you.
You definately have cause for concern.
First, quit worrying/thinking/pontificating about the larger, irrelevant issue of women who sleep with attached men. Focusing on that takes the focus off your situation, which you need to address. I mean, of course you're going to have a low opinion of mistresses, seeing as to how you're an engaged woman, and you're entitled. But what's that got to do with anything? The real issue isn't "are women who sleep with other women's men a bunch of untrustworthy sluts", but rather "how should i handle the fact that my man seems to find himself in the company of so many untrustworthy sluts...what's up with that?"

Ok, 2 things...
1. you say you are engaged....i hate to ask this....do u actually have a diamond solitaire on your finger? did he get down on one knee and propose? Or do the 2 of you just have a verbal commitment to spend your lives together, and some kind of friendship-type ring? I ask NOT to question your special relationship, but because sometimes young people (lucky you, only 19!) will say they are "engaged" as a way to express the fact that their bond is more than just going steady, they intend to always be together. And that is something special, but when it comes time to plunk down hard-earned cash on a rock.....well, these are different things. So have you hired a caterer? Just curious.
2. What's up with these annoying girls raining on your parade? You shouldn't have the least positive feeling toward them, it doesn't seem like they do about you. But the thing is, when a phone call/text/email comes from an ex, proclaiming love (how the heck can they love someone else's bf) there is only one way for someone who is truly committed to respond, and that is "I'm sorry you still have feelings for me, b/c I'm engaged to Angel, and we're going to spend our lives together. I wish you well, and I'm sure you'll find happiness, but please don't contact me anymore, b/c I don't want to give my fiance any cause for concern. I need to put her first from now on."
Simple, polite, direct, no room for misinterpretation.

Right? Really, people will often focus on whether or not their mate is cheating, or whether it just appears suspicious...but I think, when you really care for someone, you understand that just the insecurity, with or without the infidelity, is so distressing, and so you're careful not only not to cheat, but not to give your sweetie a reason to lose sleep.
Which I think is the issue, his lack of consideration towards your feelings.
I'm married, and I can't even imagine an old flame calling me and saying he's in love....anyone who knows me at all knows I would laugh in their face, hang up, never even bother mentioning it to my guy, and totally forget about it, because it's so completely lame, and I don't need to have people persue me in order to feel good.

I would NOT suggest you contact these women....you don't need to degrade yourself, and it won't do even a tiny bit of good. If he can't tell these girls to go away forever, you doing it won't matter. if anything, they'll have a good laugh at your expense, proud for making you feel insecure, and you'll feel worse for lowering yourself.

Stay strong! You seem to have sharp instincts, trust them.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:52 AM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!