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Re: Help please
Feb 11, 2006
oh hiya thanks for that post. makes so much sense.
my ex too broke things off on the phone...he has beena coward but i dont blame him...i hate hm at times but i love him.
i havent gained much from this experience either- ive had boyfriends before and learnt lessons from them. nothing from this. only that im madly in love with him.

i couldnt stop crying earlier so i called him and asked him how he can be friends with me after what had happened. he replied we could. we got talking and i finally got to tell him some things which i shouldve told him the week before we broke up- like how on the night that we broke up i was finally going to tell him how i feel and that we should stop playing games (which i honestly was, i was about to leave for his with a piece of cake, tried calling him, thught he was ignoring me and i sent a message saying i couldnt take this anymore). he told me he ended things because of the games i played- i explained all this to him- why it appeared so- i told him i wasnt playing games, explained how it was. i told him a lot of things whihc he shouldve heard a month ago, ,making things clearer. i cannot forgive myself for letting this carry on for one month and not telling him sooner. he started crying, asking me why i couldnt have done all this a month ago. he became very frustrated but he liked listening- well of course he did. for the first time he wasnt angry and shouting. he said he'd promise to think about things- he said thats all he ever does. he kept telling me it was over and that he doesnt want to get back together but will think about things now that he knows these truths. he said i should know that he would call me if he changed his mind. he told me he missed me. but he said the answer now is a definate no. he said he doesnt know what the future will bring but that he doesnt want me to remain hopeful. we had a really good conversation....then i asked him if this brought about any emotion or regret in him, he replied that the onl way hes been able to move on is by preventing himself from thinking about the past and forcing himself not to have any rergets. to me it does seem like he has forced this, by not looking back at all, by hiding- im sorry but i cannt believe his feelings have vanished. they may be hiding, they may not be as strong as they use to be- but i think he is lying, hiding the truth. he said dont remain hopeful and if i do change my mind that i will call you. he said he'd call in a few weeks time anyway to see how i am. i told him to talk to his family about this. this is progress. i know most of you wont agree, but this is my way of dealing with things...remaining hopeful and in the process hopefully my feelings will fade or they will finally accept slowly and gradually that things are over...i cant though untill i try...

maybe nothing will come of this. but i need to try. talking to him about these things, well since yesterday, seems to be having a slight effect on him...i think his problem is that he is denying a lot of things, hes being stubborn (hes saying no this is how i feel), at one point he said "dont make me look back otherwise...." and "i cant look back this is how im dealing with it and so should you."

i dont know whether to call him in a few days- no, i probably wont.
maybe ill txt him next week, something nice, bring back an old memory whihc wioll put a smile on his face. today on the phone we talked a lot about old times and we both enjoyed it. but ill be honest- he did make things clear that we arent getting back together now and he probably wont change hsi mind. but he may do.
i dont know how to go about making him see sense. i cant make him love me, i know that, but i can make him see things....

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