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Re: Help please
Feb 6, 2006
Charlatans this is starting to remind me of a old boyfriend from years ago I was 17 years old when he broke up with me we had went out for 2 years and went through alot and he pretty much worshipped the ground I walked on ,even told me that a few times,wrote me poems,drew me beautilful pictures ,road his bike in the middle of the night freezing cold,rain ,snow etc just to be with me for a few hours,we did everything together and yes even talked about marriage in the future.Anyway,yeah he dumped me and I was a BIG wreck then I find out from a friend of mine he had hit on her BEFORE we split up he told her "I havent loved Beth for about the last 3 months just havent been able to break up with her" yeah nice huh? still was sleeping with me and telling me he loved me etc.SOOO anyway I felt my world was done all the things you have been feeling the impulses to call him etc.I even collected all those poems,letters,pictures he drew,and jewlry he had given me together and went to his house a raging mad/crying my out WRECK and said some very unsavory things to him and threw all those letters etc at him they flung every which way all over the ground and then I walked off and left.Sure it was worth seeing the look on his face ,he was absolutely dumbfounded shocked lol but I regretted it a bit later I felt like sheesh why did I let him see how bad he hurt me.Oh this wasnt the end anyway a few months later I had started trying to date other guys went on a few but nothing serious developed THEN the ex contacts me ugh of course I was still loving him after a few phone calls he wants to come see me and I allowed it BIG MISTAKE make the rest of this story shorter turns out all he wanted was some convient sex from me and I not thinking at all gave it to him on several different occassions sure hed say things he knew I wanted to hear just to keep the sex ball rolling "oh we are soooo good together" even had the nerve to tell me he loved me the last time we had sex so of course I asked him if he was serious and he even DENIED saying it! lol sheesh so that was that and here I was left hurting just as bad as I did when he first dumped me.Please do not hold out false hope for a new begining with your ex and whatever you do DO NOT sleep with him even if you become "friends" again which hun I seriously do not think that is even close to a good idea for you. I dont mean to make you feel any worse I hope I havent just wanted to share with you what the reality of all this can really be.

I really think you should consider talking to someone I wish I had the chance back then to do so I could of saved myself more heartache etc
Re: Help please
Feb 10, 2006
Charlatans try not to worry about if it over forever or not what if he did tell you thats its not over forever? would that be good enough or would you want to know when? The thing is he could tell you anything even lie and give you false hope and you would still be just as heart broke.I dont think you should ask that like I said he could lie about it.If I were you I would just assume its done for good and not hold out any hope for us to be together that way you can in time get over this if you THINK you two will be together in the future you probably wouldnt be allowing yourself to get over him.
I am glad you are getting your things back I really think you should cut all contact now I know how hard it is hun but when I was there as long as I kept calling the guy or wondering what he was doing I wasnt able to get over him I was holding myself back from that process.Also sitting around wondering WHY all those why's it really doesnt do any good just say to yourself it doesnt matter why and I did the best I could I loved him and the truth is he didnt love me back the same and eventualy I will find someone who will love me the way I love them.You must do this Charlatans so you can allow yourself to get over this and move on and I know you can do it and believe me you will find a great guy and you will find love like that again actualy you will find even better because this one will love you back the same.Think of it this way maybe....the longer you sit and worry of your ex that is wasted time when the real mr right could be out there looking for you!
I think keeping busy and spending time with friends was a great thing to do for yourself keep that up!

take care
Re: Help please
Feb 20, 2006
Oh gosh Hiya- your story is heartbreaking. I dont believe in God and I dont follow religion- i wish i had. Did you see a therapist? Did you go on any medication? Did you feel worse than me?
I have a feeling that my ex will fall in love with this girl and be with her for a long time, I can sense it. I really can. I cant bear it. I really cant. Things were going to get so good but we broke up and it kills me. It kills me that its all my fault. I cannot forgive myself. I love him beyond belief. I had him, he was mad about me, but i was horrible and so mean and in the end it pushed him away. I heave when i think about it. It hurts so bad I cant move. I had him but I LOST HIM THRO MY FAULT :( people say "oh it takes two" but in tihs situation it was all me- how am i going to fogive myself? My self esteem has never been so low. I feel so unworthy, I feel so disgusted with myself. Im horrendous, i hate myself. Jesus, I really hate myself...didnt think this was possible.
We've just had another conversation...he told me he didnt want to do the three week thinking thing because he felt under pressure, that he was probably going to break my heart- he didnt want me to expect anytihng to happen. I told him that I knew things were over between us (ive accepted it and its the worst feeling ive ever had in my life, and i have been thro some pretty horrible events) and the only thing Id like is to talk again in one month just to seehow we felt- i told him I didnt want any pressure or expectencies (sorry if i havent spelt that correctly, cant be bothered to check). He said this is what he wanted to do- like this is the three week thing but without any hope just to give it time and to see how we both felt and to deal with it then. Sometimes I feel as tho I want to not think about him for a month then talk to him after that time to seehow he feels, to see how i feel etc because after things hes said, im not entirely sure with things-this is why I suggested it- i didnt encourage it, i just said it and listened to what he had to say. I dont know why he wants this month thing- i suggested it and he was more keen than me. I dont know if I want it or not. The thought of him being with that girl finishes everything for more than tears me apart- i simply cannot describe it. I kept telling all my friends there was another girl- he wouldnt have gotten over things so easily if she wasnt around. My friends kept saying "oh no dont worry i wouldnt even dream that he would have another girl." He said he was probably going to be going out with girl in a month- hes taking her out a few times this week. So why did he spend over an hour explaining things about what we should do in the month? He says for piece of mind. Can someone explain this to me?
If she wasnt around, this girl, then i could wait for him for a month, even longer. All I do is imagine them together, I imagine them having sex, I imagine him being al over her and it drives me insane...i either heave or i cant move for hours. This makes me realise Ive got to get over him NOW. If she wasnt around, heck, Id wait a lifetime for my ex. Hes that special to me, i love him that much.
Deep down whilst shes around i know he'll never come back :( the thought of him being happier with her makes me desperate to forget everything...i want to forget now before this drags me down even more- i want it in an instant- because i cant wait anymore, im seriously being pushed to the edge- i thought i was in a bad way a few weeks ago- i didntknow it could get this worse :(

I live in London. Will go to doctors some time this week. Had so much work due in for this week at University but havent been able to do any of it. I feel depressed, so desperate :(

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