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Relationship Health Message Board

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Well, I'm not a mother, so I'm hardly an expert on kids, but I've found from experience that little kids, especially boys, will run away from their parents, including mom, when a pretty young lady they are familiar with and they are fond of comes to visit. They want to sit in her lap, play with her, etc. You shouldn't feel bad if your boyfriend's son wants to come play with you. He didn't listen to his mom most likely because he wanted to play with you and she wouldn't let him. I don't really see any harm in letting him spend 15 minutes or so playing with you when you first come over if he wants to. You shouldn't feel bad that he wants to, that's just how kids are. It shouldn't bother Liz, and if it does, she'll just have to get over it. Just as a generality, people date to see if the person they're dating is "the one." It's possible you may be Matt's stepmom one day, and perhaps even live with him at least part time. You will become a second mom to him, so Liz should have no problem with you getting to know him and with him being fond of you and wanting to be near you. You dont' have a right to usurp her authority as his mom, she'll always be number one in that department, but she in turn has no right to determine how close you and Matt can get.

As for the other stuff, I don't really understand why you seem to be ok with being treated like you're the interloper in this situation. If you are this guys' girlfriend, and there's nothing going on with the ex, then he should have no problem treating you like a girlfriend in front of her. I personally would not be at all ok with him being hands off with me as long as she's around. If they are not together romantically, and have an arrangement that includes both of them seeing other people. The way he's been treating you implies that he's doing something wrong by being with you, like you're his thing on the side that he's trying to hide from the ex. That's just not right. And as far as the fight, why not just ask him what it was about, what he meant by the "you're in no position" comment, but since things are on track now, perhaps you might not want to rock the boat, but if I were you, I would not allow things to slip back into the "whoops, Liz is here, hands off!" business. You're his girlfriend, there's no reason why he can't let the whole world know, including Liz.

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