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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


[QUOTE=GypsyArcher]No...what it IS time for is for you to give your fiance a reality check. He's still talking to this woman?? So wait. He actually relayed to you the fact that this woman was talking about sending naked pictures of herself? I thought he was ending this whole thing. You need to take a stand against HIM. Even if it means walking on him. He is really getting a HUGE kick out of having this woman fawn all over him while seeing how ticked off you get. Well, it is time to get serious here.

What is going to happen to if you try giving this woman a piece of your mind? Well, it is going to become apparent that her invasive manuever are actually working. She would probably be THRILLED to know just how rilled up you are getting thanks to her! She'll just feel more powerful, thinking there is trouble in paradise and she can surely weasel her way in. Why give her the satisfaction? This is something that needs to be dealt with between you and your fiance.[/QUOTE]

I have to completely agree. I know it's instinct to want to "protect your territory" so to speak and to see her as the problem, and there's no doubt she means to make trouble. She knows she's being awful, she knows what she's doing is hurtful and wrong, she just doesn't care. When my ex's mother died, our mutual friend tried to talk me into sending him a card or something, and I said no way. First of all, I felt bad, he as very close to his mom, but I didn't feel enough sympathy or there still being enough of a connection there to warrant my sending him a card, plus I know it would have thrown his wife into a tizzy, and he probably wouldn't have accepted it anyway. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that sending a birthday present, naked pictures, constantly phoning and talking about 'rekindling' with another womans' boyfriend/fiance is going to cause trouble and make the gf/fiance upset. If you have a chat with her, you won't be telling her anything she doesn't already know. She'll just sit there and grin at you, knowing her plan is working, and she's driving you crazy and driving a wedge between you and your SO. It sounds to me like your SO is enjoying this as well. I really can't for the life of me think of any reasonable, positive, good reason why he would be on the phone with her in front of you, knowing how you feel about it all, and tell you "oh, she says she wants to send naked pictures of herself! *in the phone to her*oh, she's getting mad!! haha!" He's getting some sort of sick satisfaction out of seeing the two of you playing head games with each other to see who will "win" him. I'm sorry, really really sorry, but the longer he allows this to continue, the less good it looks that he is actually someone who is truly devoted and commited to you and someone you should consider a future with. I really don't think the problem is how do you run this woman off. Because there is always another woman, another temptation, another hurdle or obstacle around the next corner. Your problem really is "the man I want to be married to will be a man who will be devoted, faithful and commited to me enough to tell some psycho chick from the past who wants to send him presents and nude pictures and talk all the time to him, 'I'm sorry, I'm seriously involved with someone, and it's inappropriate for us to be talking and exchanging like this. I wish you luck in life, but please don't call me or send me anything anymore.' But the man I'm with now is not that man, and never will be." That's what you really need to be dealing with.





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