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I know we have had major fights about this. You know? It is like I am not trying to control his every move you know. I just find it terribly disturbing that he still speaks to her after all this crap.

See today is his birthday, so I am trying to be civil, but come on... I do not know what to do if she won't stop calling him. He told her that one time.. and then never stood his ground. So she thinks what he was playing around when he first told her to stop. Now he is like whatever.

She just won't stop. I thought we were making progress, you know? Things between us are going good, and other than this he treats me like a queen. But this is the breaking point. What he thinks if he treats me good about everything else I am just going to sit here and be like whatever. It does not give him an invitation to play around behind my back. We just had this conversation this past week. You know, and he told me, I WOULD NEVER cheat on you. I do not want to EVER risk losing you. I do not think he would sleep with someone else behind my back, because none of his gfs of his past ever broke up with him for anything bad.. just differences.

See they still try contacting him too every now and then. Because they miss him whatever. He dumped them because they were drama and I think they pulled what he is pulling on me. I think one of them cheated, one of them just caused major drama, and one was so immature it was like he was babysitting. LOL. But man, I do not need this crap. I admit because I was cheated on in the past I gave him alot of crap, and some grief, even though he did not do it. I know you are not supposed to bring your past relationships into your new ones. I was a little insecure from that and then I was fine. Then he pulled some crap when we were going through a trial period, a two week fight and again I became insecure. Then I was good again, I regained my confidence, and I knew I was beautiful again. But now this.. it is just eating at me. I know it is his birthday, and I told him she had better quit it.

See I guess she was telling him oh I know what I can send you for your birthday.. nudey photos.. I said I would **** her a** LOL. And he is like my gf is going to come after you, don't be stupid.... see he talked to her for a good 20 minutes this morning while I made him breakfast. I am sitting there all lovey dovey making him breakfast in bed when she calls and starts flirting with him... while remind you she has a man who is the father of her children out with the kids. Ok how screwed up is this. I wish he would find out what she is doing behind his back. I want to be the one to tell him too. I will be like guess what is happening. See I think my SO thinks because he is telling me about the conversations that it is ok, because he is not hiding anything from me.... that is not the point. the point is they are still talking, after she confessed her pyscho feelings, this lady is not well. Ok? I think she was in the army and got a dishonorly discharge for being nuts.. You know.. she is not well and she has our address, she is not well and she keeps talking to my SO. What is wrong with this picture???

Am I the only one in this relationship who sees something wrong. I am going to see how he likes it that my friend of 17 years looked me up to talk. But see he and I have no feelings and he is married with a kiddo... I should just start talking to all of my guy friends right in front of him, and then walk away like I am hiding something.

Sorry I need to vent.... I have put so much into this relationship that is the only reason I do not want to give up on it. We have accomplished so much in such a small amount of time and at such young ages you know? I know I could just walk away... but I do not want to. I know he has not cheated on me, I am with him like all of the time..it just bothers me. ahhhhhhh.. I am going to have a good cry now...





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