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[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=DarkOrchid]Hey all :wave:

I've just got back from a snowboarding holiday in Bulgaria and I could do with some advice please! I'm looking for general advice as well as opinions on what happened on holiday. This is going to be a big read so please bear with me!

Before the holiday I was still predominantly hooked on the girl I work with, Sara, who has shown feelings for me (see the previous thread "Falling for my Colleague"). The Tuesday before I went away on the Saturday, she came over for dinner and met my parents. Since she is still involved with her boyfriend I didn't initiate anything sexual but we did enjoy tickling each other and it felt like we both had to restrain ourselves a lot from kissing. On the Friday at work we went to the pub together at lunch and on the way back she tickled me as I drove (very dangerous, believe me!) so I got her back when we stopped. I was getting the impression she wanted to show me that she was still interested before I went away on holiday, with the possibility of a fleeting romance. That feeling was confirmed when she later sent me a photo message of her bottom in her knickers, that had been a topic of conversation earlier in the day. So basically I went on holiday thinking about her, as you can imagine!

Okay, so first proper day of snowboarding: I join my mates in the intermediate group despite only having had a very basic lesson the week before. But I'm glad I did. I think. At lunch that day I noticed two girls in our group of a similar age to me checking me out. Indeed, one of them gave me the friendliest smile when she finally got to see my eyes from behind my ski mask. I was very surprised that such a gorgeous looking girl showed such interest. I figured that it had a lot to do with the fact that - as the novice of the group, literally throwing himself in a the deep (steep) end - I had quickly become the centre of attention. I didn't really think much of it until the next day.

But when I got the opportunity to investigate further I took it, making sure I got on the ski lift with the girl the next morning. I introduced myself (although she already knew my name) and found out her name - Natalie - and where she was from. At this point I was only really being friendly. Like I said, my mind was still fixed on Sara. But a holiday is ten times better with new friends to socialise with so I thought I'd make friends, especially when I found out that we were staying at the same hotel. Then at lunch our instructor told us about an organised evening the next day and me and my mates all agreed to go. Natalie was equivocal because her mate wasn't there for her to ask her if she wanted to go as well. But I bravely made a point of asking her to go and her eyes lit up and she put her's and her mate's name down. I was thrilled! My mates seemed a bit surprised at my forwardness, and I was surprised that at least two of them hadn't beaten me to it since they consider themselves the world's biggest players.

[That evening I sent Sara a text message to say "hi" and tell her what we'd been up to, but she didn't reply].

So the next day things are going well and I agree to meet Natalie fifteen minutes early before the planned coach trip to this night out. Up until this point I'd only seen her in snowboarding gear and she looked stunning without her hat and mask. I should have told her there and then but I bottled it. But the eye contact was still there. However, I hadn't budgeted for one of the players to come in and ruin everything for me.

Let's introduce Will. I met Will about six months ago through James who I work with. Will is cool - a great bloke and a good mate. You're going to be shocked that I still believe this even now but he's just one of those guys you can't dislike and he's very good looking. That's the problem!

Will sat opposite Natalie at dinner. I had Paul sandwiched between me and her and struggled to get a look in. We were all getting immensley hammered on hot rakia and cheap wine and beer. Will was roped in to dressing up as a traditional female Bulgarian dancer and make a fool of himself. This was his coup de grace to gaining Natalie's attention. As we left the restaurant to go to a club Natalie was still looking for my attention but I could see she was torn. She told me she was drunk and that I'd have to look after her, as we hugged. But Will made his move and got an arm 'round her before we got back in the coach. I felt sick. I heard her ask him if he had a girlfriend and he replied "Not really".

I know that Will has a girlfriend of three months. I met her the Friday before the holiday and I could see the insecurity in her eyes. I wanted to cry for her when she raised a toast to a good holiday and "getting laid" referring, of course, to us single lads and not Will. She could see what was coming and, as we got on the plane and Will coined the phrase "What happens on tour stays on tour", so could I. And now it was :(

At the club Will loosened his grip on Natalie and I got to speak to her but I knew I was screwed. We all danced together but it was only a matter of time before I lost her to him. As I said, I was completely smashed so I outright told her that I liked her. But I knew it would make the blindest bit of difference. Her mate, Stephanie, from the other snowboarding group told me I was "really nice" (presumably on the basis that I'd allowed her to go ahead of me for the juice at breakfast whereas one of the other lads ignored her) and Natalie agreed, and I went off on one about how girls always tell me that but how that's not what they look for, even if they say they do [I regret that outburst and later tried to apologise (they were out), but it was forgotten].

So anyway, Natalie and Will were soon getting very cosy and I just had to leave. As I walked back with tears in my eyes, I was numb to the minus temperature and just wanted sleep to escape the hell. I couldn't sleep, though. I was crying my eyes out but I had to stop when James came back to the room with Paul. Why was Paul there? Because he had to vacate his and Will's and Mark's room while Will and Natalie and Mark and Stephanie had sex in thier two rooms. So you can imagine how choked up I was by now.

The next morning I expected not to see either Will or Natalie on the bus to the slopes. I was pleasantly surprised, however, to see Natalie alone on the bus. We talked as though nothing had happened, as if mutually agreeing that we had forgotten due to alcohol intoxication. When Will caught us up on the slopes he and Natalie barely spoke whilst we chatted away, friendly as ever. The instructor took us to a ramp and, after helping Natalie on to it, I hurled myself off it to make sure she knew what kind of a spontaneous guy I can be (despite visions of breaking my legs :eek: ). Of course, Will had gone down like a pro whilst I stacked it after twenty metres. But I came off looking better since this was only my third day of boarding! She later remarked on how I did funny things like that.

That night we all spent a quite one in at the hotel. Natalie sat next to me all night, still not really conversing with Will. We basically had pillow talk with everyone else around and it was lovely. We didn't run out of things to talk about for five hours or so. The next day, though, we were all out clubbing again and I could see what was coming. Will came clean and told Natalie that he wasn't single and she came to me upset. But it wasn't long before they were intimate again and I had to leave early again before I died. Once again Paul shares our room. His snoring was so bad that I slept in the bathroom. While Will shared a bed with Natalie.

I had to find something positive to latch on to (especially since Sara had now ignored my second text message). So I recalled a conversation that myself and Natalie had earlier. We were talking about how depressing it was being single, especially on Valentine's Day. She'd told me that she had arranged to take the day off to avoid all the excitement from the besotted girls in her office. So I decided that I had to send her some flowers. Hence I drafted the message that would accompany them. My romantic defiance in the face of Will's "sex first, talk later" attitude allowed me to stop crying and get some sleep. But I feared there would be a repeat with one more night left.

However, gladly there wasn't. On our last night Will chose to chat up the other girl from our group who'd come out with us for the first time. Natalie complained to me that he was a [[I]use imagination here[/I]]. I told her that he wasn't one of those but "a bit naughty". Like I said, I truly believe that he's a good guy; he just can't help himself when girls offer it on a plate. She told me how I was "the nicest out of you all" and how girls [I]do[/I] want a guy like me who doesn't have sex on the brain. She nearly told me that she regretted sleeping with Will but she didn't complete that setence. She agreed with me when I told her that I believed that the best relationships are based in friendship. We held hands and rested our head's together in that beautifully innocent way that negates the need for anything more carnal. Will looked on, realising that he couldn't have her like that. But I still hurt.[/COLOR][/FONT]

to be continued...
[QUOTE=ErimusValidus][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=DarkOrchid]Hiya [COLOR=Magenta]mistycatt[/COLOR]! Thanks for replying :) I guess I have a low estimation of girls. In my mind, all girls sleep around until "the one" comes along and they pretend that they're as pure as the driven snow and go in for the hipocrisy of a white wedding. I developed that view since my ex left me and finally admitted that it was because she wanted to have sex with more people before she settled down, and told me that I was boring because I didn't seem to want the same thing. So my point is this: it seems to me like (at my age at least) that there aren't any girls who haven't had at least five sexual partners, so I should just ignore the niggling feeling that I'm only good for settling down with, and enjoy myself.

For one thing, things have gone quite far already. Natalie has asked if I would like to go on holiday to Egypt with her and I agreed with barely a second thought! [I might have been wise to check the World Cup group stage match dates first :rolleyes:]. Yes, we are in a long-distance relationship. It's going to take Natalie about two hours to get here tomorrow. It could be a lot worse, even on this small island we call a country. I'll tell you what I told Sara when she warned me off a long-distance relationship with someone who takes things quickly: it's been a *long* time since I woke up next to somebody who cares about me. I can't just let that chance fall by the wayside because Natalie doesn't exactly fit my criteria for the perfect girlfriend. I get lonely, you know :( I do appreciate your concern though.[/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE]


Wow, you just seem like such a thoughtful person. It really does bug me to think that you view all women that way because it is no so. I for one have been with my husband for a long time and he was my first and we seperated for a while and I had the pefect opportunity to go bed hopping but I did not. Not all woman are that way, and her actions speak louder than words.

I just think by the way your emails are presented, that you are a genuine guy and you are a little to hard on yourself, and are trying to get whatever you can get, because you don't think you can get a decent woman.

so, 2 hours is not that bad. If you are really serious about this chick, then I would take it slow... see what she offers you as far as friendship and don't go paying for everything, either take it slow, and make sure she is not using you.

So, where do you guys live.... I am just curious because I am in California, and wonder where sometimes people are from

Take care and the best of luck to you!





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