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Relationship Health Message Board


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Background on me: I'm 27 years old, pretty attractive/younger looking woman. I got my college degree (BA journalism) when I was only 20 and have had a strong career in public relations since then. I don't have very many friends. I got married at age 20 and divorced at age 23. After I was seperated, I was single for about 5 months. Then, I met my current boyfriend. We've been together almost 4 years now. He's only 24. We've had a shaky but strong relationship as we've been through many difficulties, such as: loss of a child, being arrested, loss of jobs, loss of family members, being very poor, etc etc.. We've had short fights, broken up for a day or so, and got back together before. He can be very moody and also agrumentive and stubborn, but he's also really smart, funny, good looking, strong, good hearted, loving, caring, etc etc I could go on and on...

Last week we had a great valentine's day together. We haven't fought in a few months. We also spent Wednesday together, then Thursday. Thursday night we stayed up until about 2 a.m., then I went to bed. He followed me to bed and wanted to have sex. I turned him away because I work at 8 a.m. and he doesn't work until noon and I was really tired. I've done this before and he's gotten mad about it, but nothing extreme, just the usual things guys say about not "getting enough." We have sex a lot and I "go down" on him all the time, like way above average, so he really doesn't have anything to complain about.

Well, Friday he was mad at me. He was being passive aggressive and didn't want to hang out. Saturday he came over, but only because he thought I was crying. I was crying that he didn't want to hang out with me on Friday. When he is passive aggressive (meaning he doesn't really talk to me, and he acts different than normal, like he doesnt say I love you and stuff like that), I get really really upset. I have some anxiety issues. And he knows this. So Saturday, all we did was hang out with some of his friends. Sunday we didn't do much together and he was still being quiet towards me. But I pleasured him anyway (we didnt have sex because I just started my period). I actually pleasured him three times Sunday morning and then again Sunday night, all to make up for the lack of sex Thursday.

On Monday, I had to leave for a business trip. He was going to bring me to the airport, because his car is broken down, and so he was going to borrow mine all week. When he dropped me off at the airport, he didn't want to kiss me goodbye. I kissed him anyway, but he drove off fast.

Monday he didnt really want to talk on the phone. He didn't reply to my emails. He was again being passive aggressive.

Last time I traveled for business, we were very loving to each other on the phone and in emails. We usually hang out every night, so we really missed each other. There have been no signs of that this week. Tuesday was more of the same -- passive aggressive behavior and not really talking to me. Acting like he doesn't care.

Tonight, Wednesday, he calls to let me know that he is going to pick me up from the airport tomorrow. I asked what he is going to do this weekend, and he says "didn't you get my email?" Well, at this point, I had not checked my email so I said no. We said goodbye, again no "I love you" from him (of course I said it to him). I go and check my email.

Now, I've always been worried about him cheating on me, mainly because of his age and his lifestyle -- partying with his friends is still very important to him.

In his email, he says that he is going to go to a nightclub Friday night, then Saturday he's going to a city 2 hours away to hang out with 2 of his guy friends. Well, not good news to me, because usually he'd never do these things. It would be really hard for me to trust him in these situations because his friends are very influential and they actually want him to be with other women -- basically, my boyfriend is better looking and more out going than them, so they think he will bring in girls to the group.

So I start freaking out, because here I am, 500 miles away, and he hasn't once said I love you to me all week, not since a week ago, which is very strange. I call my boyfriend back, this time I'm crying. He says I'm acting like a child. I ask if he's seeing someone else, and he tells me I'm jumping to conclusions, which yes, I probably am, but why is he acting so different towards me? He hung up on me while I was crying.

So that is my dilema. Tomorrow he's going to pick me up from the airport. I don't know what to do or how to approach him about my distrust. I think he wants to break up with me.





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