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Relationship Health Message Board


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Alright-first thing I want to say is that this is not a bad expereience but rather a good one. Because you are learning. Keep this in mind with all experiences...none are really bad...it is all about perspective...just use every experience as a learning one and how you can improve yourself. I feel that at the age of 23 I am more emotionally stable than most ppl I know so I would take my advice. :) Also bad things tend to happen to good people because they let it happen...and they usually are naive to what "social reality" really is. Really most of the time these are not bad thigns...you just have defined them that way....remeber that.

ok sooooo I wanted to help out on this issue because I am sick of hearing the ol "bad boy" and "nice guy" thing. Both of these terms are fu**** cop-outs to why you really have problems with women. First of all I do agree that they are plenty of women out thier that tend to sleep with jerks and that is simply because they are stupid and an emotional wreck. IT is in thier pyschology...a lot of women fall for these jerks because they have not giving them acceptance...and they always want to gain it. It is something to do how they were raised...biological wiring and what not. SO these type of women are still CHILDREN. Ever notice how needy and whiny these girls are? Usually they are quite critical of others too. YOU really have to pay attention to a girl's actions rather than her words. ACTIONS are always louder than WORDS my friend. Women are very good at manipulating and making themselves appear sweet, innocent and so forth.

But I can tell you one thing most of these girls are not happy. I also agree that being an overbearing nice guy will def repel women away from you...even the sweet ones. The best thing is just to be ****%% honest! IF thier is some behavior a girl you are seeing that is bothering you...let her know. Dont let her get away with everything becuase she will keep doing so otherwise. Be confident, charasmatic, and just stand up for yourself. You dont have to be a jerk...just be honest. Also if some girl is coming to you with her problems dont take the time to listen..it is her way of rationalizing her behavior and you are only reinforcing her doing it again because you make her feel ok about it. Either tell her she is an idiot or just straight up ignore her. I only mean this when she is talking about other guys. If she is talking about other problems...do listen and always tell her that you feel she has the power to improve herself...dont actually try to help her.

Ok...

Now I agree with others do not change who you are. I was at one point a retardly nice guy as well. Over the yrs I have developed some increadibly skills in learning how to attract women to me and for I really learned just to manipulate them..and yes ignoring them/puttin them down/ acting aloof/ not letting them know much about you...will get a LOT of women...at least for sex anyways. BUT reaceantly I got sick of this...and I want to find a mature, emotionaly stable girlfriend.

Remeber sex is only a temp thing. IT does not necessairly make you a happier person. It will give you a "lift" for a day or 2...but then it only becomes a drug. You put your self-worth in fullfilling this addiction and w/o you feel empty. But I have learned to realize that this is not the root of happiness..and I believe that is why we are all here. To find happiness and that one person to share it with. So if you are a good person...DO NOT CHANGE> do not take others advice about being a bad boy...simply that is ridicolous. You do not feel comfortable treating women like crap so dont. JUST make an effort to take care of yourself, respect who you are and if you get a bad feeling about a girl then forget it..and also dont suck up ever...that never works. This is probably the best thing that has ever happend to you...you are growing and learning what you want, what to avoid, and how a lot of women "really" are. Good luck my friend.

Now the best advice I can give you is just to forget about women for a while. Just live life, hang with friends, work hard and figure out what you want out of life for yourself. Dont have your life revolve around trying to get women...becuase it will only further you depressing thoughts until you satisfy them with getting a women. I have noticed also that when you are living life, and working hard..women will find you.

Lastly...

Nice guys finish first. You just have to know how to be an "honest" nice guy. NOt someone who fakes being nice to get things. We are all selfish creatures..and we tend to blame others "being bad" when really it is just because we are not fullfilling our needs...projecting the blame. It really is about respecting yourself more than anything else. Just think about it.





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