It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Emotional Relapse
Feb 27, 2006
My boyfriend of 4 years (the man who told me he wanted to marry me) dumped me about a month and a half ago. I won't get into the whole story here because it has already been posted... Basically, he doesn't want to marry me...

I had a very difficult 2 to 3 weeks after it happened but then I started to feel better. I still had a broken heart and I still missed him, but I didn't feel like my life was over and I was able to see that I do deserve better than him. I was focussing on school, work, exercise, friends, family... I felt good about myself and although I missed him, I was feeling better every day. This lasted for 3 weeks. I even made it through V-day without having a breakdown.

Ok, now...all of a sudden its like it just happened again. I had a nice weekend. I don't know what sparked this depression that I feel now...
Here is what I did, maybe you guys can tell me what may have sparked it....

I live in my own apartment in the city and my little sister turned 12 on Saturday. So, I had her and 7 of her friends come have a sleepover party at my place. It was great! We did hair, make-up, truth or dare, ate pizza, stayed up all night... I felt like a 12 year old again and my sister was so happy. I felt good about being able to make her feel special for her B-day with all her school friends...
Then yesterday, my best friend who has lived in NYC moved to Chicago (where I live). I have been really excited about him coming here especially since my boyfriend and I broke up. The more friends the better! He's single too, and I don't have many single friends so I was really happy that he was moving here. (and no, there is absolutly NOTHING romantic about our relationship...) We are only friends and always will be only friends. :)

Anyway... here's my problem. I had a great weekend, and there is no reason I should feel more sad today than I did a week ago. But I do!
When my sister and her friends were picked up from my place yesterday, as soon as the door closed behind them I started balling (I mean really crying!). I felt so alone.
When it came time to pick my friend up from the airport, I could barely bring myself to do it. I didn't even think I could possibly put a smile on my face and act like I was ok... I did drag myself out (considering he's staying with me until his furniture arrives I kind of had to)... Thank God he was tired and went to bed early, because I was in no mood to talk. I cried myself to sleep and I actually prayed to God and asked him to not let me call my ex.
I wanted to call him and beg him to give our relationship a 2nd chance. I miss him so much it physically hurts... I want to feel his arms around me. I want to feel loved by him again. He made me feel so loved and cherished I can't believe it wasn't real... I feel like I would do anything to have him back. I don't need marriage, or a house, or kids... I just want him.

I cried all night and I feel only a little better today...
I don't want to be at work, I don't want to go to school, I can't even imagine having fun and catching up with my friend tonight... I don't feel like I really care about anything.

I do not like feeling this way. It's not like me. I know I am better than this but why are my emotions taking over like this?!?! I feel like a hostage in my own body...

What is going on? I feel like I took one step forward and 10 steps back all in one night! I can understand feeling this way if I just found out that he's seeing someone else, or anything like that. But nothing even happened this weekend that was remotely related to my ex, or our relationship....


Please, someone tell me that its normal to have emotional relapses like this after a break-up, and it will pass....
I was feeling strong. Maybe not totally happy, but at least strong. Now I feel like I have nothing...
God, I hope this is just a bad case of PMS or something.... He doesn't deserve for me to miss him like this!

If you have made it this far, thank you for reading.... It probably doesn't make much sense. I'm not even thinking straight. :(





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:01 AM.





2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!