It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Hi Kerry-
Sorry to hear about the newest updates. Ive been gone for awhile but I wanted to comment and see how you were doing. I want to start with the pep talk, and say that I am truly impressed with the way you handled things. The reason I say this is that my break-up and the last conversations we had were, I swear, verbatim to what you wrote that you had with your ex. My ex was cold and robotic sounding, said the same, EXACT phrases (its not you its me-which offended me too, Opie!- and he also said he needed to be alone, he hated the person he'd become, I deserved better...all that stuff). I am so impressed with the way you handled it without flying off hte handle like I did . I couldn't help it, I am emotional and just way too genuine and I couldnt bite my tongue- I had to let my emotions out. Reading the way that you acted, I just feel that you are so strong and you need to realize that and know that you can get through it.
Now, the not-so-peppy part. Please try not to hold on to any hope that he will realize what he did. Please try to just move on. As much as you can right now, and I know it is hard. My ex said all those things to me, swore there was no other girl, and there was, and they're still together now, and were immediately after he ditched me. I am by no means saying that this is your situation, just because it happened to me. My ex will not be coming back, I know this, and doesnt even think he did anything wrong, even though even his best friends think it was messed up what he did to me. Now, your ex may come back for all I know, and for your sake I hope he does, if that is what you want. Its just that if you hold on to that hope, and it doesnt happen, you will not heal as quickly, and I dont want to see you in agony for longer than you have to be. So I know you said that you don't close the door, and I can relate with you because I never quite do either, until Ive really had enough. I just think that in this situation, you really have to give it your all to close the door this time. Especially with how cold he was to you.
I cant explain how much I relate to you...your situation is SO similar to mine, and my ex was so cold and so disrespectful and just horrible with his words to me when all I did was cry and ask questions. It still makes me sick when I think about how awful he was to someone he still 'cared about', as he put it. My heart goes out to you because I was there not too long ago. And I am OK! I dont cry anymore! I am still angry, yes, but I am ok and I am enjoying life and new guys (a little too much ;)- I think I need to calm down!!) It doesnt seem possible now, and it wont for awhile, but all of this will subside in time. Keep taking it day by day, and you are being so strong already. Try to concentrate on the negatives, his faults, and how horrible he was to do this to you and how you did nothing wrong, and YOU are the one that is the good person here. Even if it seems cliche and naitve to say it, I still think the whole 'its his loss' mentality really is the best way to think of it. Think of all the things you have going for your (your strength, your honesty, your genuine character, your ability to love, etc.) and just put those to use elsewhere, in time. Obviously he doesnt deserve it, nor want it, and again, his loss. Put the energy toward someone else who wants it and wont want to let it go. Allow yourself as long as it takes to grieve, cry, etc., see a counselor even. I know what you mean when you said your body just didnt want to cry anymore- that was JUST how I worded it to my friend! I was just cried out. Eventually you will see that they are just aren't worth your tears anymore. Look forward to that phase :) It will come sooner than you think. Hang in there.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:23 AM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!