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Relationship Health Message Board


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thats what hurts the MOST- didnt show dignity, didnt show any consideration. i spent HOURS on the phone pouring out my heart, crying, discussing things with him...and he couldnt be simply considerate and respectful...
after spending a lot of time with him, after thinking he cared, i thought the things id said to him would have been treasured, would have made him think a little differently, like jesus this girl feels for me, i was with her for quite someitme, very close, i will try not to hurt her at least, ill respect her, i wont lie, i wont do these awful inconsiderate things...
it meant NOTHING and that kills me...wouldnt it mean something to your normal average guy? wouldnt it mean something to an ex who once cared about you and you were very intimate with? obviously, he didnt hold much for me and it HURTS...it meant NOTHING
she was so beautiful...i can now see he liked her even when he was with me- with hindsight i can see now...
hiding the messages from her, his eyes lighting up every time he spoke of her, bragging about how much she likes him, he was with her the night before and after we broke up...
i have such a strong feeling that theyll fall in love...they spend alot of time together...studies, interests- its always what ive dreamt about doing- spending all your time with someone, doing the same things- theyll be together for so long, and she will mean so much to him- whereas i mean so little to him despite my efforts, my feelings, what i did etc...
i mean, what has she got that i dont have? erm...shes beautiful and classy...so am i...but shes nice and i wasnt...i was a horrible girlfriend and i deserve this i guess to some extent....
that makes me feel so low- ive NEVER felt like this low before...
i am now suffering from depression, i can accept that...and now this has made it worse...she is so beautiful, so classy, so nice looking- and that must be something coming from me because normally i am SO difficult to please when it comes to girls
hes made me feel so worthless,like nothing...
he told me he was never in love with me, he liked her better than me which is why he left me, the way they looked together, we never looked likethat together
boy he must REALLY like her...he'll appreciate her more as well because of what we went through, the bad stuff that happened etc...he never once appreciated me...he had fun sex and good times with me- after all, what did he say? cant we just have goodtimes? we're only 21,22,what did you expect? now i bet he's grown up alittle and really apprecating tihngs in life, carefree, and falling in love...i know the score and it hurts...
maybe if i was different, id still have the man of my dreams...instead i wasnt good enough and i pushed him away...
people always use to tel me i was special, i was out of the ordinary, thats how my ex made me feel too, i thought i meant the world to him, i thought i was his only...only to be replaced so soon afer the breakup...he broke up with me because of his feelings for her- its clear to seethat now
i cant get over how happy they looked, how perfect they looked...we nevre looked like that...he was always hesistant or angry about something...but he looked so at peace with her, so into her...


i think his best friend is the only person i would consider dating right now...i have so many guys after me but none interest in
his bestfriend appeals to me because he has been with his girlfriend for almost two years, because he treats her right, because he is a very respectful person and is very goodlooking and gifted withmany things- before i had visions of breaking him up with his girlfriend but after what ive been through, i dont want anyone, not even the most hated people in the world, to go through this
im only 21 and im experiecing this crap and i have been scarred...this isnt fair...after all i did love him...i didnt deserve any of this....
ive been torn apart...i never expected anything like this to happen in my life...

ive been pushed back down into the mud...i dont now how to pick myself up...holidays, travelling, new hobbies, my long desired new life- it doesnt mean much to me...well it does...but all im doing now is lying in bed, sometimes i cant move because of the pain...
ive been feeling like this for two months...

when will it stop?
how will it stop?
will i ever stop loving him and wanting him?
will i ever be happy?

i wish he simply cared...there is no other explanation than the fact that he really didnt hold much for me, that he broke up with me because of this other girl...but it doesnt mean he has had to be so....i cant explain it...
i wish he could look back one day and appreciate me and possibly regret...but he wont...this girl is way too nice, nice distraction, he'll think she was worth of all it...ive seen them together, i know
this is awful :(
i wish i could mean even a little bit to him...

ive got a lot of stuff at his place, should i email his bestmate whom i spoke to last night with his girlfriend, to bring it out with him next wednesday so i can pick it up from him? i can look up his email address...your thoughts please...i wouldnt email him for the next few days i dont think because thatd show that last night was the reason for it
i dont want ot go to his house to pick it up or send someone there, itd hurt way too much- dont want contact like that where he lives...and i dont want to ask him to post it to me...i dont want to have to see my ex or talk to him...not after this...i want my things, quite expensive things otherwise i just would not bother...
he hasnt even tried to make it easy one bit for me to get my things and he knows how badly i want my things back- i lent him some of my most fav things...
jesus, what is this boy like....

its stinging...
i sometimes cant move, i cant breath, im struck badly by the pain, but i still want to get up and go to the doctors again and tell her im feeling worse now, symptons have got worse etc and i still want to go to the library and do work...i want to get on with things...i want this pain to go but ill have to deal with it for sometime...
ill try to look my best from now on, itll probably become an obssession after seeing her, ill try to look like the happiest girl int he world but im rotting in the inside...
im dreading the next few months- exams, then ive got sucha long summer holiday...but theyll still be studying through till august together, theyll be together EVERY DAY....and ill be feeling lonely, rejected, worthless, frustrated, angry, low self esteem, the images wont go of what i saw last night etc...
i hope ill never see them again- I HOPE
but thatd mean not going to the places i love....if she didnt look so perfect
MAN I CANT BELIEVE hes got such a nice pretty girl...its killing me...
hes done better than me...wow...what a way to go
i wish i could be strong and say "oh ill make him see what he lost with me" but he lost nothing...this girl is obv way better...there is nothing to miss with me...
he can see me looking good, looking strong,but it wont mean a thing...i wish it did





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