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As many of you know, I was dumped by the love of my life (so I thought!) about 4 months ago. It was done very deceitfully and disrespectfully and also very suddenly, and although he said he wanted to be alone, he immediately jumped into a relationship with his friend who lived downstairs in his building, so Im assuming he had been emotionally cheating (I had seen signs).
He was a virgin, I was not, and because I loved him so much and, regretfully, because he somewhat judged me for my life choices, I found myself sacrificing a lot of things (sex, especially) to be with him and 'pass his tests' so to speak. I am currently seeing a psychologist which has really helped, and Ive been meeting lots of different guys and just trying to enjoy my life, so although I still currently resent my ex, I feel like Im on my way to getting over him completely. Thats the background info thats pertinent to the current situation.

Theres this guy (who happens to be an acquaintance of my ex and his circle of friends) who lives in DC that I have been hitting it off with, both socially and sexually. It is the best sex Ive ever had, and he was the first person Ive slept with in over 2.5 years (I was with my ex for almost 2, and like I said- no sex with him). To sum it up, I got too drunk one night and ran into him when I was out, and we REALLY hit it off, and...yeah. All that repression just went flying out of me.
This guy also recently is out of a very long relationship (4 years) as of around 3-4 months ago, too. His girlfriend cheated on him. So it is very clear that both of us have a ton of baggage and are clearly confused in life and love right now (and still love our exes, Im assuming).
After the first crazy night in DC that we had, I had to come back up to NYC, but we kept in touch a lot. We talked and flirted and all of that for about 5 weeks. This past weekend, he came up to hang out and to see his family and we spent both nights together having a lot of fun.
Now, I am not one to have casual flings like this, but I am trying to be very non-judgmental on myself due to what I have just been through. I know in this situation I can't get emotionally attached with this guy, and I think it would be very unhealthy for me to depend on this guy for anything right now. I know that I am vulnerable, but I do really enjoy this guy's personality and have a lot of fun with him. He sort of likes to play mind-games a little, which I get on him for, but all in all I know he enjoys my company too. He tells me he 'needs to keep me guessing'. I guess I play them back with him, and Im not usually a game-player...usually Im very open and honest with how I feel when I am trying to date someone.
I am just not sure what to do about this whole situation. I'm not used to this at all. He left this morning to go back home and we didn't say anything about keeping in touch, but I know I will see him again. I know the whole phrase 'who wants to buy the cow when you can get the milk for free' holds true. And I know that neither of us should jump into a relationship. I just feel conflicted. I want him to WANT ME and I want to feel valued, especially after what happened to me with my ex. I dont like being the girl who is just casual sex, but at the same time I really enjoy the whole situation and would like it to continue because it is fun and is distracting and he makes me feel attractive and all that. I feel like a stupid girl in the sense that I could easily get hurt over this and I recognize that, but I also genuinely like the guy on some level- we really click and I can't ignore that.
I dont know what to do now. I dont know if I should continue to keep in touch with him, or if he just wants that to be it. I can't read him, and Ive been distant too because I am trying to protect myself. However, I guess I do feel some emotional connection toward him- I just dont know if it is genuine or a product of my hurt from my break-up. He is very affectionate and respectful and complimentary to me, and we have this crazy sexual tension, but we both came out and vocally said "a relationship would not be good right now" due to both of our individual situations. The "chase" is also somewhat gone now, since we hung out all weekend and I was pretty much a sure thing once he got here! So I know that that might also make a difference from now on with the way he views me.
My head is saying that this is most likely just a classic rebound situation on both our parts, but at the same time (I sound like such a stupid girl!) I cant help wanting him to want me and to keep in touch with me. Again, I know that I probably ruined that by getting myself in tihs situation, and I take responsibility for that, but I just cant help but wanting him to want me for more than just that. I just feel very confused.
Neither of us have really any experience with casual flings, and I know guys generally can detach themselves emotionally in situations like these...so I feel like Im preparing myself to most likely get hurt, or at the very least, not pursued again. I just have a really good time with this guy, and he treats me with respect/seems to have some sort of emotions and feelings toward me. He also seems inhibited with his feelings, as am I, even though deep-down I know I like him. What should I do here?





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