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Relationship Health Message Board

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Re: Abusive husband
Mar 25, 2006
Ahhhhh!......Being married to the military! I know exactly where you're coming from. My ex was a marine, and believe me I know about the verbal abuse! It's so wrong for him to take out his anger on you. Like another poster said....he chose to be there! No one twisted his arm! Everytime my ex and I would get into an arguement, he would throw up things to me like "because of me, you live in a free country" and "I fought for my country,you didn't!". I got sooooo tired of hearing that. I do appreciate what our military does and the fact that they fight for our freedom, but when it becomes a cocky attitude, it sucks! He made me feel like I won't worthy of anything at all! And like you, I was here with the kids, working, and going to nursing school! You have to stand up and let him know you WILL NOT put up with verbal or any other kind of abuse from him! Period! It's just wrong....especially when you are so supportive of his career! I mean, does he think life is a piece of cake for you either? I would quit e-mailing him for a while and when he contacted me, I would tell him straight up that if he has anything ugly or hateful to say to you, he needs to call back when he can control himself! Let him know that you are his wife and the mother of his kids and you deserve RESPECT! If he can't give that to the woman he married who stands behind him 100%, he has a severe problem! And if his sons see him treat their mom that way, they will grow up thinking that's how women are supposed to be treated, and act accordingly with their own wives! If he's going through some emotional trauma, it's understandable and I feel bad for him. BUT...he needs to talk to a professional and get his anger under control. Not take it out on you! Please don't allow this from him anymore. Stand up for yourself and for those boys and put a stop to it now! Once he sees that you are not going to continue to put up with that, I think his way of thinking will change and he'll treat you with more respect! Good luck with this and just know that we are here for you anytime you need to vent! :)

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