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Relationship Health Message Board

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I think having a friendship after a break up is very hard when one person is hurting. When the break is mutual, friendship tends to be a lot easier. However, your boyfriend is smart to cut ties if he wants to get over you. You might be friends down the road when his feelings subside, but for now, I would leave him alone and give him the space he needs. It might be easy for you to be friends with him - but he is telling you that he can't "just" be friends right now.
Im going to disagree with what others have said, and agree with Avon55 here. I was on your boyfriend's end not too long ago, and I never saw the break-up coming. I was in ultimate shock and denial for...well, about a month to be honest. I contacted him maybe 2 or 3 times in that month, until I cut him out for good because it was too painful. But I remember, the first day, first week, and 2 weeks later when I called him, he would not respond to anything. It made it 10X worse for me. I felt like i was dumped and left to recover with no explanation or care. If my ex would have at least showed that he had an ounce of feeling by recognizing my contact, it would have made things a lot less painful. He didnt have to 'lead me on', but just the fact that it seemed like he was taking the easy way out and forgoing all repercussions involved in hurting and betraying me like he did, hurt like nothing else Ive experienced.
So Im going to suggest what Avon55 said. Respond, but say that you don't want to lead him on and that you are sorry he is hurting so much and you never wanted to hurt him. Say that you do not think it is good to keep in contact because you don't think you are going to change your mind (or, better yet, you KNOW you aren't changing your mind) and that you think it is best to cut off contact for awhile, until things are less emotional, and then maybe you can be friends.
It wasn't until my ex actually outright said, I am not comign back, that I was done. I cut him out of my life, and it was the best thing I could have done. He is contacting you because he hurts like hell and he still harbors hope. Not responding is twisting the knife in deeper because it gives the impression the other person doesnt give a f***, and that is very hard to handle after being dumped, but just make sure you don't tell him anything that will lead him on. Suggest no contact from that point on.

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