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Relationship Health Message Board


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:confused: I will start off by giving you a preview of who i am, I am going to be 21 in one month, i go to college, have been for 3 yrs, i work a part time job and i live with my boyfriend, have been for 1 yr. I also have been in two other long-term relationships( one for one year and one for 2 1/2 years, both ended badly) My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 yr. in the beginning everything was perfect, it was like we were soul mates and finally found each other. Well, one year into the relationship i was diagnosed with axienty and depression and still suffer from the axienty but not so much from the depression. During the 6 months is was suffering from both my boyfriend said he couldnt handle it and broke up with me. well we were broken up for 3 months when i started to see someone else. He found out i was with someone else and started to ask for me back. The other relationship wasnt serious and the guy actually didnt care much for it since it was a long distance one and i ended it. I went back to my ex. everything seemed to be good until the stresses started again. He plays online poker, alot. but he doesnt let it interfer with our expenses so everything is taken care of. He has given me alot in terms of material things but i dont get much emotional support from him unless it is convenient for him. He basically spends all of his free time on the computer. He's always played cards, even before i met him so i dont say anything to him about it, but it does annoy me because although he says being in the house at the same time is 'spending time together' i dont feel this way because it is spent in silence. He gets moody and snappy when he loses at poker. my axienty has gotten worse because of this and although i tell him this he simply replys "i dont know what you're talking about" or "that doesn't make any sense". I guess my biggest issue with this is that i hold a lot of resentment against him because he 'never' connects with me emotionally but expects me to give him all the emotional support when it comes to his life and poker. I could write a book about this but I'll just cut this short. Should i rethink the relationship and maybe end it? or am i being immature and selfish? I feel that sometimes im being unfair but i give so much to him and dont get the same back. if you need anymore information about it let me know because there are alot of other things going on that i didnt even come close to mentioning. thanks for any advice
[QUOTE]He's always played cards, even before i met him so i dont say anything to him about it, but it does annoy me because although he says being in the house at the same time is 'spending time together' i dont feel this way because it is spent in silence.[/QUOTE]

I guess everyone looks at this differently, because I tend to think as your boyfriend does. I consider it "spending time together" when my boyfriend and I are merely in the same room but doing different things. I also like to spend a lot of time on the computer. But it definetly sounds like he has a "problem" with poker. I wouldn't let him get away with getting snippy with whenever he's not winning. Talk right back to him and tell him he better not talk to you like that or else he's going to find your foot up his ***.

It is up to your whether or not you feel it is worth it to stay with him, knowing that he has what appears to be a gambling problem. I wouldn't stay in a relationship where I was anything less than happy...if it causing you a lot of stress then is it worth it?





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