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Relationship Health Message Board


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I don't think you can generalize. It really does depend on the two people involved. I have a number of female friends. With some, there was absolutely no mutual attraction whatsoever. And with others, there was some attraction. In the past, I would've acted on it immediately, but as I've gotten older, I've learned to be more patient cause I know that sometimes it's just hormones and whatever feelings I had would go away. And even if they didn't, I'd often end up learning something about the person that would make me realize that a relationship with them would never work out. Or I'd learn something about them that would completely turn me off. In either case, I'd be telling myself, "boy it's a good thing I didn't pursue something with her."

One thing I have learned (and a lot of guys have yet to grasp this) is that flirting is sometimes just flirting. I've flirted with female friends and they've flirted with me. But I knew enough to not read too much into it and realize it was two people having a little fun. But I do look at my female friendships differently. What I've noticed is that there are things I can talk about with women that I can't talk about with my guy friends.

I strongly disagree that a man has to be gay for you to be just friends with him. If you truly believe that, I think your real problem is the kinds of guys you're choosing to be friends with.





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