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Hello, and thank you for reading. Now, if I wrote out the whole story it would be a novel, so I'll just give you the cliff notes.

Long story short my ex is threatening not to pay a pretty large amount of money he owes me if I do not let my dog (my ex got him for me for christmas a few years ago) go over his house and spend the night. Now, yes I do realize that he loves the dog and he misses him, and I miss the dog that my ex kept (which is also technically my dog), but I do not want the dog going over and spending the night. I never said my ex could not see the dog, and I am really trying to compromise here by saying he can come over to my house and see him, but he's being a real jerk! I do not want the dog to go over there, plain and simple, he's my dog and I like having him around, plus not to mention he would get fleas over there. The thing that really makes me mad is that we agreed to what he would pay me back and now he is just trying to worm his way out of it. I feel bad, but at the same time the dog has nothing to do with the money. The money situation is completely different and seperate from the dogs. GRR..

Anyways I need help or advice, or whatever...thanks in advance
steakie he's using manipulation tactics here.

don't give in. there is no guarantee he will pay the money back even if you DO let the dog spend the night.

children and pets aren't pawns
Thanks rose, and I agree.

Just to get some more persepctive on the situation I thought I would share the lovely im convo we had about this......


jerk: hey
me: hey
jerk: you think you could let Yun Qi come over this weekend and spend the night?
jerk: ?
me: i don't know
jerk: why
jerk: whats the big deal?
jerk: its two days
me: yeah, but he's my dog, and I like having him around
jerk: ok
jerk: so i miss him
jerk: so do my parents
jerk: and i am sure rei would like to see him
jerk: if you asked if she could come over for the weekend i wouldn't tell you no
me: well its a little different for you than me
jerk: how
me: you know why
jerk: no its not
jerk: i guess you don't miss her like i miss him?
me: didn't say that
jerk: well you are kind of being selfish don't you think
jerk: two days isn't the end of world
jerk: you there?
me: yeah
jerk: so can he?
me: i don't know, i'll let you know
jerk: are you serious?
jerk: if you cared you would let him
jerk: i didn't stop paying for your credit card did I?
jerk: i could've been a real jerk
jerk: but i am not
jerk: this isn't too much to ask
me: again, different
me: he's my dog
me: we broke up
jerk: its the same then
jerk: he was our dog before
jerk: no i guess he is yours
jerk: that was our bill before
me: you screwed me over and were shady about everything and lied to me, so yeah it's a little different for me than you
jerk: but i guess since we broke up its yours
jerk: i never did lie
jerk: i wasn't shady either
jerk: and i didn't screw you over
jerk: so it turned out the way it did
jerk: but it wasn't anybodys fault
me: sure, u keep thinking that if it makes you feel better, but i can think what i think too, which is you were shady about it, not saying it was your fault, but i do think you were shady about it, i don't expect you to understand how i feel because you aren't me
jerk: that has nothing to do with this
jerk: you are talking about the dog
jerk: not anything else
jerk: he was my dog too
jerk: there is no reason why you can't let him come over
jerk: you are acting like a little kid
me: no you are being selfish
jerk: how?
jerk: cause i want to see the dog for two days in the past 4 months?
jerk: ?
me: why don't you come see him if you want to see him so bad
jerk: for 10 minutes? i want to spend some real time with him two days isn't too much to ask
jerk: and you know it
jerk: ?
me: i don't want him to spend the night over there, it's pretty much that simple
jerk: thats retarded
me: i'm sorry but thats the truth
jerk: i don't want to pay your bill anymore
jerk: so just because i don't want to means i shouldn't?
me: you know thats different, so stop using that as an example
jerk: its not different
jerk: it was one before we broke up but now you want to pick and choose whats yours and mine now
me: no the dogs are technically both mine, the cc was some yours and some mine
jerk: they were a gift but they were ours
jerk: you know that
jerk: i am just asking for two days
jerk: you can at least give me that
jerk: if you don't let him come over then i don't feel the need to pay your credit card bill anymore
jerk: we spent that money
jerk: not just me
jerk: so you can make your choice then
jerk: you are making this something that it doesn't have to be
me: exactly we spent that money, hence why you are paying for half, its not rocket science, and don't threaten me with that b/c thats ********
jerk: i don't have to pay you any money
jerk: just like you don't have to let me see the dog
jerk: it's morals
me: and apparently we all know you have none
jerk: if thats what you think
jerk: so till you let the dog come over here don't ask for anymore money
jerk: if thats the way you want it
jerk: cause you are making it this way not me
me: i told you the truth, i don't want yun qi to go over there, but you owe me that money
me: you have rei i have yun qi, whats the problem?
me: you can't have both
jerk: and you owe it to him and me to let him visit
jerk: i don't want both
jerk: i just want to see him for two days
jerk: good god
jerk: so are you letting him come over?
jerk: so are you going to let him come over?
jerk: you there?
jerk: hello?
jerk: there is no reason for this to turn into something bad
jerk: why are you making this into a bad situation
jerk: why are you being like this?
jerk: stacy?
jerk: ?
jerk: hello
jerk: STACY
me: i don't want him to go over your house, but you are more than welcome to come over here and see him and play with him in the backyard
jerk: so you are saying no
jerk: ?
me: i am not saying you can't see him, you can see him over here
jerk: so you are saying no for him to spend the night over here?
me: yeah i don't want him to spend the night
jerk: well i hope you change your mind before next month
jerk: cause if you are going to act like this
jerk: then i am not going to pay your bill anymore
me: it is as much your bill as mine and for you to use this as a threat is childish and tells me that you are just trying to use yun qi as an excuse to get out of paying YOUR PART of the bill
jerk: no he is my dog as much as yours. we raised him not just you. and you are the one being childish about this whole thing
jerk: think about that
jerk: so call me when you are ready to stop acting like a little kid and let the dog come over for two days
jerk: nigth


GRR, why can't he just leave me alone! I don't want anything from him except to pay me the money he owes me and leave me alone! And I really miss my other dog, but sometimes compromises and sacrifices must be made. I don't want to be tied to him for the rest of my life over our dogs esp. since we agreed on what was mine or his and who got what and who owes what to whom. I don't want to see him I don't want to talk to him and NO i do not want my dog to spend the night at his house, liek I said, I just want the money and to break all ties and contact. oh and not to mention that he does not even take care of the dog that is mine that he has, he is never home! I am the one who always took care of the dogs anyways, and I paid the vet bill and all that jazz, but like I said thats not even the issue here the isssue is the money he owes me not the dogs!!! Oh and I like how he says that what happened between us and how it happened doesn't have anything to do with the dogs, but the credit card does? i don't think so. why does he have to make it so hard? I would of liked to have ended this being friendly but he makes it so difficult! of course he is mad about this b/c everything else so far has gone his way., but now I am saying no to this and so he is threatening not to pay me what he morally owes (a la 50% of the bill, that's fair is it not?) me and what we agreed on! wtfrick? I think its pretty fair, we broke up, I took my stuff, he took his, I got one dog, he got one dog, and we split the cc bill in half. just when things are going good and I haven't had to think about him, now this........ I should've never answered his "hey" but I really didn't think he would bring this up and be like this....
steakie please don't let him have the dog for the weekend.
what's to say that he just won't "hold the dog for ransom", until you do something else that he wants, or agree to only let him pay half of what he owes you or something ridiculous....
he's manipulative and controlling. he knows how much the dog means and he's trying to use it as a barganing chip........best advice.....don't play.
write the money off, consider it an expensive lesson.
remember, if he hurts your dog or never gives it back, no amount of money will take away that pain.
cut your losses......seriously
Courts are a great thing and would be wise in thsi situation. You can get a court order for him to pay the money to you. He openly acknowledges that he owes half the money...so....if you take him to court and get a judgement against him then he can't do anything to weasel his way out of it
[QUOTE=monky1]Courts are a great thing and would be wise in thsi situation. You can get a court order for him to pay the money to you. He openly acknowledges that he owes half the money...so....if you take him to court and get a judgement against him then he can't do anything to weasel his way out of it[/QUOTE]

Exactly, or at least threaten him with a court. Hopefully that will be enough. It's your dog and you can decide whether you want him at someone else's house or not. He's trying to blackmail you--how tacky of him.
I think he's trying to get out of paying the money.. I mean a dog is a dog.. He hasn't seen him for 4 months and now all of a sudden wants him to come over for a sleep over..umm yeah lol. I think he's playing mind games and using the dog
[QUOTE=monky1]I think he's trying to get out of paying the money.. I mean a dog is a dog.. He hasn't seen him for 4 months and now all of a sudden wants him to come over for a sleep over..umm yeah lol. I think he's playing mind games and using the dog[/QUOTE]

I also smell a rat. I think you hit the nail on the head, Monky.
Thanks everyone. Yes, I thought about the court, but I was kinda hoping it wouldn't have to come to that. I think before I go that far I am going to talk to his parents, i know thats sounds dumb, but they really loved me and know that he owes me money. Also, I think if they knew how he was acting they would be pretty po'ed. It's not too immature to talk to them either considering he still lives with them, and I lived with them for a while,so hopefully I won't have to take it to the courts. It's not as if I am saying he cannot see the dog, I just don't want the dog going over there to spend the night, but he still owes the money whether or not he sees the dog. He's just trying to get out of paying me the money, which I might add is a lot of money to a broke college student. :D
Steakie if he wants to see the dog let him come over to your place for "supervised visitation"





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