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I was amased to know that my boyfriend was abused as child, beaten up constantly (sometimes with a belt, when he stayed out late playing by the river when he was only 6!!!), this he said was out of worry about him!!!! But it's sick. He was bullied terribly too. I have also known, much to my disappointment, that he has had a history of drinking problems until recently, had a break, and he's back again as I can gather!!!! He started drinking since he was 16!
Also his first and only Spanish wife (not his mad ex) had run away with some other guy when he was in her country, with no warnings only after a year of their marriage. The only reason was that he was not good at saving money.
After talking with my counsellor, I have tried to step back and try to understand why he's behaving like that to me, i.e. goes out to the pubs if I say the slightest unpleasant word to him. Could it be insecurity and need of affection?

I have decided to let it calm down (He's not been to work today and still not back, I don't think that it's anything to do with drinking as he came home to eat when I was out, something that he doesn't normally do if he has enough to eat out), so I will let him calm down then have a proper conversation with him. Today he's sent me an email to work saying that jealouy is an awful thing and that he doubts that I am faithful to him. HORRIBLE. Anyway, I disregarded the comment knowing that he's hurt because I refused to give up my male friends anymore as I used to do for him. I was left in total isolation with him when I accepted no contact with nobody and he doesn't do the same to me.

He's going under the pressure of not having seen his son for about 4 years, that he's not allowed to see him either until we break up. He's living other kinds of problems like debts, etc (this is partly his mistake). Anyway, I will therefore assume that he needs help. On Saturday, I might ask him whether or not he's ready to correct these problems in his life, seek professional and legal and medical help. If the answer is no, or if no action will be taken on his part within 2 weeks, then I am leaving. I am keener now and have rang few flat agencies (spent 2 hours on the Internet yeserday looking for some. My stuff will get packed and I will DEFINITELY leave if he doesn't show me that he wants to get better.

In the light of these new facts about his emotional instabilities, what do you guys think?





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