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I put it in my new persons' "words" from "his point of view"..so that I could better understand how I would feel from his point of view when I asked you all.....I guess that you have a point.....

There has been some tension with us....and it's come between us at times....I love this person alot...but, as he has always told me, he is NOT like all of the other people that I have ever been with.....he hates being told from me "Well, nobody's ever gotten this upset with me over the internet...I used to be able to do what I have wanted to do!" He says "Well, it's different, because you are NOT using the library computers anymore...YOu are using a P.C. and from the looks of it....since you "are naive" about the internet, and it looks like I will have to show you...what sites have spam, spyware and Adware on them, and some that you do not even know...because you don't know ANYTHING about the dangers of the net....and I do, because I was using the internet since they first started coming out with computers in the home...!!!" He is going to "teach" me how to use the net in the proper ways...so that I do not put MORE "junk" in his drive......I resent the fact that I have to do what he's asking me to do.....I am a person that has a terrible time at Paying attention...and or taking rules and regulations from another person....I am much better doing it "my way" and this is what he doesn't like too much about me....as well as...I have a hard time with NOT interrupting....he tells me that he loves me alot....and no matter what he's very sorry that he gets soooo frustrated..however...he's strongly adamant about what he believes in...and doesn't and these fights...forget it....I am NOT gonna win....in either argument!

It's just really frustrating for both of us...him: because I roam and surf on sites that I don't know if they are NOT great sites to go or or not....and me: because I can't be "free" as I once was...because I am technically using his computer for my writing(he gave me the computer..his old one....but, I still "mess up" by going on the sites that I either "have no business on(but, I don't always know what if any the sites that I surf on are bad for the computer) and or, I am constantly on the computer not wanting to get off unless it's a dire emergency! He yelled at me for getting addicted to the net, and now I am addicted to the Sims game....he has in the past said that "IF I do not get my "you-know-what_ together, I am not going to be in his life anymore!"
I have to keep working on being a person who I am NOT.....I cannot say just how many of the times that we came close to "breaking up" over the internet problem/games/ and everything else! I don't want to break up. so the only other choice I have, the way that I see it...is that I am going to have to break my "strong, strong connection" or addiction to both the net,and the games~~~and do many other things instead......I am sort of okay with it...but, I also feel inside like a child that has been told "if you don't do what I have asked you then I am going to punish you for this type of behavior!"

He has a serious "fuse" on him...and I wouldn't doubt that he means what he says....I KNOW he means what he is saying....there's no question about it!:mad:


I spend alot of time on the computer,....and also not just web surfing(a totally other story on that one) but, also playing the SIms games....he would like to see me write more.....he believes in my creative ideas,...I write a lot of poetry...and I also like to do storytelling.....but I have always said that I would be willing to write my stories down to put into books for kids...(which I said that I would do, for many people in general....I kind of promised that I would...but, I have been writing stories at a very slow level(whenever I feel like it) not every day, or every other day!!)


I do know that I can get my act together, it's just a matter of "distracting" myself into doing something else that is as interesting and as "fun" as the sims stuff! I have been working on on the net addiction...I was also badly addicted to checking email on my cell phone, and running up the batteries on it! He was pretty mad. I don't really bother checking that much anymore...and THAT'S also because he 's made me get rid of at least 40 or more email addresses,and message boards..that I thought would be alright to be on,,where as he said "Uhh, no! it's not, because you don't know who's is on the boards...and since you are so naive, unlike myself....who KNOWS alot more than you do....you don't know "the square root of bleep-all!" :nono: (his favorite phrase....although, I subbed that last part..censored)

But,you get the picture.

In Regards to the ex boyfriend....I was merely curious mostly because when i had finally got a hold of him...or him calling me.....he started to tell me strange stories...so I was wondering if he really is "mentally way, way off" like everybody has been telling me!(It's a longer story than what I need to print out....so I will just put him in the past!!! He's History!)
I don't want to be with this person....his brain is really "broken" ya know?
My sweetie has just been really "hard axxed" (censored) about a lot of the things that I used to be able to do(without getting yelled at about it, and or mostly "lectured" on and on about it,)I am having to relearn about the net ALL OVER AGAIN..and it just makes me kind of ticked off about it!!!! I hate being told "you can do this, but, you should not do THIS ever again..and I don't want to see you attempt this, either, because if I do....that may be our last straw, and I would hate to see you lose me over this...but, it may come to this...but, I will tell you, that for the most part....I would fight with everything that is left of me, to make sure that THAT doesn't happen to US!"
ANyhow, that is some of what I am dealing with....because of my fiance'(I could say it might partially be an age factor...he's fiftyfour and I am forty three..and he is a bit more "learned" and more cantakerous than I am..so far!!)But, other than that, I really don't know! :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:





nightowl2





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