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[QUOTE=SophiaM]Yeah, Fabat, thank you so much for understanding! After having been through this, I would be SO sensitive to unattached women if I was attached myself. I know all about the New Years party: in the last six years, there was only ONE New Year's that I spent with a boyfriend. So, I know the feeling of not getting to kiss someone at midnight while everyone else is kissing. And I love to kiss and in general, I'm a very sensual woman. It sucks all the more to be single. I'm trying as much as I can to make a good face to most people but my closest friends, but the fact is, I am not really too happy with it anymore. It was fine at first, but now it's not. The surreal thing is that I always hear how attractive I am, and I am not stupid, either, and not stuck up. So, it frustrates me to no end that I can't find my match. I mean, Why is it happening? I don't even want to know the reason why, but I want things to finally start moving forward. In the last couple of years I made major changes like starting graduate school, traveling as much as I can, etc, but I am still stuck in my personal life. It will sound insane, but I almost feel like someone put a bad spell on me, or something. Because it just can't be explained in logical terms. I've had guys who were not even on the same level as me dump me and act like they're better than me! I don't understand it; I just don't. You seem to have your life so together, Fabat, and I admire you for that. If you have even one word of advice to me, I'd be so happy to listen.[/QUOTE]

For what it's worth, I understand too, Sophia. Yes, you and Fabat both seem to be really together young ladies. I can also relate to your feeling of some kind of unseen force or barrier keeping you from obtaining the things you want. I've concluded that all we can do is control ourselves. We have no control over another person's free will, and we can't force or make someone fall in love with us. It really helps me to look at it like a true blessing from God to find your soul mate, sort of like the ability to sing really well or to have the kind of brilliance of an Albert Einstein. We may be blessed with it one day, we may not. But as at my core unfulfilled I will always feel without a mate, I also know that if it's not in the cards for me to have one, then it's just not, and trying to conform to someone else's idea of what a "good" woman is or letting someone tell me I'm a bad or unworthy or inadequate person and trying to shape myself into something I'm not and don't really want to be won't really cut it, either.

I think you're on the right track Sophia, and whether you find someone or not, you're still a great girl. That won't change.





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