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OutToLunch- Interesting take, I guess I never looked at it that way before...you hit the nail on the head with him "changeing" & I guess we've been together so long I never stopped to realize that.

He deff. was not like this in the begining. We had just dated previousley, back when I was 17 or so & he was rather self dependent. Joined the Navy, moved 5 states away, made new friends...meanwhile our budding relationship drifted appart due to the miles. Lost contact, and we both entered new relationships. 3 years later bumped into eachother & re-kindled what we lost. His last year in service, I moved those 5 states away, because we clearly had something. It wasn't till we moved back to our hometown, when his insecurities came into play...all of a sudden he got "depressed" when I hung out with my friends, even though he was always envited to come along. Caused so many fights between my gf's, always had some "flaw" as to why I/we shouldn't hang out with them.

He has gotten better, I will say...I don't want to say he was ever posessive, but perhaps jealouse. Like, after we moved back if we ever went to a bar, he would be "all over me" so every guy in the place knew I was with him (even my friends noticed the change in a public setting). Now, not so much, although, he does prefer I hang out with my gf's that are married (not the single ones)- coincidence, I think not!

I just don't know anymore...I can't decide whether I lost the "in love" part, or if I'm just mad because we fight almost daily. I told him maybe 2 days ago that I can't stand the constant fighting, that I am so tired of fighting everyday, and I think the relationship is over...his retort is "no, we don't fight everyday (umm, do u not remember?) & no the relationship is not over".

Sorry I keep going on & on, but I really have no-else to vent to & really want to say this 1 last thing...what really struck a chord with me & inspired this post to begin with was our last arguement...the way I see love is (or at least careing deeply about someone), is not taking someone's weakness/insecurity & useing it in a way that you "know" will hurt them (no matter how angry you are)...Well, I've struggled with school/college my whole life- he knows this...I'm not saying I'm not smart or don't enjoy learning, but due to my ADHD, I lose focus & motivation if I'm not "interested" in a subject/area. As a result, I've withdrawn from many classes, due to lack of interest/stimulation. So, he brings up in arguement, out of nowhere "well why can't you just go to class...is that so hard? You enjoy wasteing your parents money? Why don't you just go to school & pass you classes".

That really hurt me, to the bottom of my being- and I know he knew that. So, for the first time, in 4 years, I did it- I dropped the FU Bomb on him (a good 10 times or so). Never ever before said those words to him...because I know words can hurt, and I never wanted to be that "bitchy" girlfriend that used those words so carelessly like most ppl do.

It sounds so stupid, but the mountain of fights were nothing compared to what he said to me...and, I know I wouldn't have said those words if I wasn't at least partially out of love- no matter how angry i was...





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