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[QUOTE]I also mentioned that this is really my first time doing this, and that my parents would sort of be upset that I'm meeting a guy online. I also said that this would sort of be very discrete. Was I wrong to say this? I just wanted to say that I'm not that "type" or something....sorry.[/QUOTE]

I of course do not know for sure, but I think this could be the problem. He may find it distasteful that you are so concerned about what your parents think of what you do. Maybe he thinks that if he had a relationship with you, your parents would have their noses stuck in it. Also...if I was going to meet up with someone I met online and they told me our meeting would have to be very discrete, it would set off a lot of red flags in my head. I would think they were hiding something...mainly they were married or had a signifigant other. I wouldn't want to get involved with someone who felt they had to keep me a big secret. I know that is not true for you...but I just fear this is how it may look to him.

Without meaning to, it seems that you gave this guy a lot of excuses and he probably thought you were not interested in [I]him[/I]. You could attempt one more e-mail, asking if you did anything to upset him. But if he doesn't respond or seems distant, then I would let this thing go instead of trying to chase him down...then it may look a little desperate.
God, I was afraid of that. However, it is the truth.

But, I did say, instead of calling, how about we meet up? I thought I was sounding "that I'm not the type to do this" type of girl...meaning online dating.

Do you really think I should email to say "I'm sorry - I did not mean that I would be in trouble for eeting up etc, or that I'm not interested in you"

I can't believe I messed this up! He seemed such a decent guy. I can't believe this...I'm really upset over this. CAn't you tell I'm not used this at all.

I went and signed up again on this online site, and he's still there. I didn't really want to do it, but maybe I'll get a second chance :confused:

I feel really stupid.
[QUOTE=GypsyArcher]I of course do not know for sure, but I think this could be the problem. He may find it distasteful that you are so concerned about what your parents think of what you do. Maybe he thinks that if he had a relationship with you, your parents would have their noses stuck in it. Also...if I was going to meet up with someone I met online and they told me our meeting would have to be very discrete, it would set off a lot of red flags in my head. I would think they were hiding something...mainly they were married or had a signifigant other. I wouldn't want to get involved with someone who felt they had to keep me a big secret. I know that is not true for you...but I just fear this is how it may look to him.

Without meaning to, it seems that you gave this guy a lot of excuses and he probably thought you were not interested in [I]him[/I]. You could attempt one more e-mail, asking if you did anything to upset him. But if he doesn't respond or seems distant, then I would let this thing go instead of trying to chase him down...then it may look a little desperate.[/QUOTE]

Yes, it was the same thing that jumped out at me as well. Especially the "discrete" thing. Ah, sometimes it's better to write too little than too much because we might just shoot ourselves in the foot. "Discrete" was not a good choice of a word because it implies you have something to hide, like a spouse or a boyfriend. And the comments about your parents being upset might also indicate that you might not be an adult like you said you are. Now, I know this is not the case, but this guy doesn't know you. Please, Stef, stop worrying so much about being that "type" of girl who does online dating LOL. There's nothing to be ashamed of AT ALL--mostly everyone has tried this form of dating nowadays--it's something that has become very mainstream, so you don't have to 'explain' yourself in any way.

So, you can email him again and say you realized that your choice of words wasn't the best in your last email and that you were simply nervous because you don't have any experience with online dating, but that you would really like to meet him if he's still interested. You have nothing to lose and if he doesn't respond, give another guy a chance. There are lots of guys online; he's not the only one. And PLEASE, next time don't say anything about the nervousness and the very mild CP, or that you want this to be 'discrete' for god's sakes! :D Think that you are a beautiful, smart girl who has a lot to offer and speak with men from that perspective. Good luck!
[QUOTE=SophiaM]So, you can email him again and say you realized that your choice of words wasn't the best in your last email and that you were simply nervous because you don't have any experience with online dating, but that you would really like to meet him if he's still interested. You have nothing to lose and if he doesn't respond, give another guy a chance. There are lots of guys online; he's not the only one. And PLEASE, next time don't say anything about the nervousness and the very mild CP, or that you want this to be 'discrete' for god's sakes! :D Think that you are a beautiful, smart girl who has a lot to offer and speak with men from that perspective. Good luck![/QUOTE]

Thanks, and yes I will not mention "discrete, or nervousness" or anything.

But do you REALLY think I should email him? I don't want to seem desperate. Yes he is not the only one, but I have a lot of pride and I just can't forget!

What do you REALLY think would be ideal here? I want to know to learn from it and not repeat it.





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