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[QUOTE=GypsyArcher]
Still though, I don't think it was okay for her to slap him. What if this was a situation where a girl tossed off a slightly biting remark to her boyfriend and he slapped her face in the middle of a store? I think the two are already even...he shouldn't have to grovel to get back in her good graces, IMO. If my boyfriend slapped me, ever, for any reason...whoo. That would be the end of THAT.[/QUOTE]

Well, first, I guess my main point that I'm trying to make is that it was more than just a tossed off, slightly biting remark. It was cutting and designed and calculated to hurt and cut deep. He went for the jugular and that's just not fair.

While I don't think anyone should be hitting anyone in a relationship, no, I don't think it's nearly as bad for a woman to slap a man as it would be for a man to slap a woman, simply because of the unequal upper body strength. A woman can hit a man as hard as she can with her fist in the right place, and in most cases, the most damage she could do is maybe ring his bell a little. A man can hit a woman as hard as he can in the right place and he can kill her. Plus, while I know women can physically abuse men as well, it's just more upsetting to me to see a man strike a woman than it is to see a woman slap a man. It's just a more serious thing. Plus I guess I've been socialized by a lifetime of watching movies where a man insults a woman's honor in some way and she smacks him across the face, and it's no real big deal. Plus, my dad drilled into my and my brothers' heads since early childhood that only a coward hits a woman. But you're right, perhaps striking him was a little overboard as well, but I still think he was more in the wrong than she was. I found myself in a similar situation with the ex. I have an "ethnic" nose. It's a bit longer and fuller than I would like, and ever since I was about 14 or so, my mom has always told me how I need a nose job, how I'd be so much cuter and feel so much better about myself and take a better picture if I had a nose job. But I'm a singer and I've always been afraid of what a nose job would do to my nasal area and my ability to place my voice, use my soft palate and to sing. So I'm sensitive about my nose. I mentioned this to ex, I DIDN"T go on over and over about it, but just mentioned it maybe once or twice and how my mom always thought I needed to get it fixed and how that always made me feel bad. Well one day I was playfully teasing him about his tiny ears, because he really had small ears! and he shot back with "well, then I guess your nose couldn't fit into them." I wasn't trying to hurt his feelings, I thought I was only being cute, but he attacked me on something that I had made clear to him I felt bad and insecure about, for the sole purpose of inflicting pain on me. It really hurt my feelings and I thought it was cruel of him to do that to me. Plus, I think it's also jsut a sign of maturity and security, when someone is annoying you or says something that hurts you when they are playing or kidding, it's the grown up thing to do to tell them so in a firm but respectful manner, not to try to out-dig them.
Hello folks. I just wanted to get back you on a few thins. First, I wanted to let you know how everything went. It wasn't easy, but I was able to make amends, and we're slowly getting back on good terms again. I guess you can say this is my probationary period ;-) I had to work very hard to convince her that I liked her just the way she was. When we began to talk, she took a very defensive posture, understandably so, and suggested I find myself a "runway model with hips like a 12 year old boy". I assured her that I wouldn't trade her beautiful, hourglass figure for anything. You know, I think part of the reason she's so insecure about it is because her Mom and her two sisters are petite, so she always felt like the black sheep in that regard. She took after the women on her father's side of the family, who are more curvaceous. Factor in that she was also the middle child, and its no wonder why she's a tad neurotic ;-)

As for the slap, I can appreciate the points made about it being abusive. On the surface, I would agree that its an unfair double standard. Honestly, though, I don't really have a problem with it. First off, it was just a quick flick of the wrist, and at most, it just stung a little. Also, the intent was not to cause me serious physical harm. It was more a physical gesture of disapproval. Furthermore, its not as if this is a pattern of behavior with her. Its the first time its ever happened, and we've been together for two years.

Also, it did not take place in a public setting, where it would have been thoroughly humiliating, and yes I've had first hand experience with that. A few years back, I decided to break up with a woman I had been dating. My plan was to have a few drinks with her at a nearby restaurant, discuss our relationship and come to the agreement that it was better to go our seperate ways. My thinking was she would have a more reserved reaction in a public setting. Well, it completely backfired. She was no dummy and figured out my plan, and was offended that I did not discuss this with her in private. I took a stinging slap on the cheek in front of a room full of people, and she stormed out of the restaurant. It was the most embarassing moment of my life. As bad it was, however, it would have been far more painful if I had made her cry.





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