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Hi all

I'm a 21/f and my boyfriend of three years is 21. We currently live together, have for the past year and a half. My boyfriend is going to school and I am working as a receptionist. He took some time off from school recently (a qtr) to go visit his mom in Arizona who he hasn't seen in three years. The problem I am having is a big one in our relationship. His parents help us out when we need it, financially.. because they understand that I am paying all the bills and he is going to school which they approve of. My boyfriend stays at home all day long. I'll give you an example of one of our petty arguments. He tells me I forgot to take out the trash. Ok, big deal.. how much effort is it to take out the trash? He therefore tells me that now since I forgot to take the trash I will be doing all the household chores with NO help. You'd think someone who is currently not going to school, does not have a job would at least complete household chores, right? Wrong. He will do a few things around the house, but when it comes down to it. I am doing the laundry, I am cooking dinner etc. I am tired when I come home from a day's work.. but it doesn't really matter to him. He has a website which is his pride and joy. It's a really good website, but he sits on it all day and acts like since he sat at home all day on his website, he did a bunch of work..

This is just one of our problems. We don't get along. I no longer feel attracted to him and I never want to have sex. He gets mad about this too. His parents (particularly his mom) think that his behavior is perfectly fine and I should be supporting him until he gets a job. It scares me because sometimes I think he never will get a job. He doesn't have enough patience to go on a job search. I've seen him give up too easily. Whenever I think about breaking up with him and us going our own seperate ways.. my heart starts to pound and the feeling is overwhelming. I guess it's because we've been together for so long and this was my first relationship. We moved in together too early... I didn't think things through. I don't know what to do. Anyway.. what would you guys do?
Thank you for all of your responses. I expected what you were going to say, I just need some reassurance and support. Yes, I have talked to him about this many times and it always results in a fight. It gets to the point where I'd rather just shut my mouth rather than deal with him. Whenever we get into a fight about this situation about getting a job, he tells me that he can't because it will hurt his student loans because his school wants to know his income and such at the job. I guess the school will want to take his income for his payments. Whenever I mention us breaking up he has to call his mom and get her into the situation. It is really annoying. I think of us as two adults, but I think it's more like 1 adult and 1 child. If we did break up, he would be in trouble because his mother is in Arizona dealing with her own set of issues (failing health, relationship problems of her own etc) and his father is back here but he rents and probably couldn't afford to support him. Last night I was so frustrated that I tried to work something out with him, saying he could live with me until he figured out something with his parents or whatnot, but it turned out the same way it always does. We just go out ways and try to get along civily for the evening. You ask if I love him, and the answer is hard for me to bear. I loved him, but as this relationship progresses it is hard for me to love him.. We went through so much to be together, my parents opposed us being together from the start. They didn't want us moving in together when he didn't have a job. I understand why. I wish I would have listened. I feel that if he started to pull his weight a little more and such this relationship could work, but the romantic portion I don't think is ever coming back...

When he goes out to Arizona, I am going to re-evaluate what is going on with my life...





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