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Ok, am I being stupid here? My fiance and I went on a weekend getaway to rekindle and make up for him being stupid...

Well I am upset, because we took probably 80 photos and he "accidently" deleted them off of the camera...

I am pretty mad... he said he would download them.. so I did not.. and usually I would.. now what do I do.. I am a little p*ssed and just upset because it means alot to me, and every time we go somewhere new we always take a photo etc... to remember it.. we took some awesome shots too... I do not know, am I being drama?
I can certainly understand getting upset at losing all your lovely vacation photos, I would be upset too! But I would get mad and frustrated about it for probably half a day, then let it go. This really reminds me of once when I was working as a secretary in a small office. My boss was supposed to get home a bit early to get ready to go to some function with his wife, and he got caught up in a conversation with a co-worker. I reminded him he had to go, and he said ok, but kept getting distracted. Then his wife called and said "is he STILL there??!!" in a very agitated voice. He took the phone and I could tell by the look on his face that she was ripping him a new one but good! When he got off the phone the co-worker said "uh-oh, you're late, huh?" and my boss said, very sheepishly, "oops!"

Most men are just big kids who are used to having someone take care of the little details of day to day life for them, like making sure their best suit is dry cleaned the day before a big meeting or making sure the vacation pictures are already downloaded before he gets his hands on the camera again and can delete them. I've even known some men who have confessed to deliberately messing up household chores so they won't have to do them again. Things like that are just a woman's job, as old fashioned as it may sound. I can't remember who, but someone on these boards evne mentioned once about how men complain about how women overpack with junk, then are amazed when they have a hang nail and we produce a nail clipper, or they cut themselves and we magically bring forth bandaids and bactine, or a million other little sundries that they never think to bring. If men could cook, clean, pay the bills, and manage all the little household details themselves, I don't think any of them would ever get married! I totally understand you getting a bit frustrated, but I think things like this are just part of being a wife/SO/live-in girlfriend to a man. I really believe one big reason why my relationship failed was because I expected way too much from my ex in that department. He cleaned for himself and did his own laundry, and even cooked, and did dishes, but little things like when we'd go to the resevoir, he wouldn't eve bring sunscreen, or an outdoor concert, I was the one who had to bring the rain ponchos, unbrellas, blankets, etc. etc. Soemtimes I would get resentful, but in fact, it was really just my job as the woman in the relationship and I'm still very sorry I wasn't more accepting of it. I mean, it wasn't that big a deal, certainly not worth sacrificing a husband, a house, and babies and a life that's actually worthwhile.

Anyway, things like this will crop up, but as long as he's not being abusive, dishonest, cruel or unfaithful or deliberately hurtful, let it go!
Everything in life is relative, if you allow yourself to realize it. It is always a good thing to reflect on what it is you are very upset about against the various other things in life that are generally considered genuine tragedies. This process will often help you put into perspective just how trivial is the thing you are lingering over.

Life is very short. Wasting anger or frustration on things of relatively minor significance is a disservice to you and your happiness and to others around you. It was an accident. Be mad for an hour then drop it. Move on to being happy about your life.
[QUOTE=angel_light]Ok, am I being stupid here? My fiance and I went on a weekend getaway to rekindle and make up for him being stupid...

Well I am upset, because we took probably 80 photos and he "accidently" deleted them off of the camera...

I am pretty mad... he said he would download them.. so I did not.. and usually I would.. now what do I do.. I am a little p*ssed and just upset because it means alot to me, and every time we go somewhere new we always take a photo etc... to remember it.. we took some awesome shots too... I do not know, am I being drama?[/QUOTE]

I would be upset too. Very upset. But I wonder about what it is that you're upset about. Is it the loss of the photos? (i.e. good memories, etc.) Is it that he deleted them? i.e. do you feel that the fact that he deleted them - accident or not - is sort of sending a message that he doesn't care about preserving memories? Or he's generally careless about things that are important to you?

What I mean really is are you upset about the photos or what him carelessly deleting them signifies for you, or both?

If it's just the photos, I'd say let it go as it was an accident.
If it's also about what you feel deleting the photos means, then try to talk to him about that - about how you feel about the fact that they were deleted (even if it was an accident).

This happened to a friend of mine too. She was really upset and asking the same questions as you and thinking she was being unreasonable. But she was still upset and couldn't shake it. After a while she came out with "It's not even about the photos. It's that he just doesn't give a sh**"

so that's why I ask if it's about the photos or something else.
[QUOTE=amy2705]This happened to a friend of mine too. She was really upset and asking the same questions as you and thinking she was being unreasonable. But she was still upset and couldn't shake it. After a while she came out with "It's not even about the photos. It's that he just doesn't give a sh**"

so that's why I ask if it's about the photos or something else.[/QUOTE]

Wow, that's an interesting observation, Amy! I know this guy whose live-in ex-gf would flip out because he was not folding his clothes the right way when he was putting them away in the closet. According to him, she was just an irrational b***h, but I truly think there was something more to it. I think she was redirecting her anger from the fact that he was not making any commitment after years of living together (which she didn't dare bring up directly) to the trivial thing of how he was folding his clothes. So, Angel, are you really upset about the photos or about something else?
Yea.. I love him.. and I will take it as being a guy.. but my goal is to go there within a year and take another photo.. he at least has to do that... you know?

As far as the girl.. well he also sent her a small email before saying, "I told you to stop bothering me, thank you" Then this email was mean.. but maybe she will understand. Because he has told her nicely lets not be friends.. I am not interested and she persists.. so maybe this is what it took?





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