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Relationship Health Message Board


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I need your help tonight too!!! I am feeling borderline insane. I am not sure if I have become paranoid, or as he says "insecure"?
I feel that he's pushing me in the most cowardly way to break up with him. He is now accusing me of being "insecure", I told him that this is what he WANTS me to feel, then asked him bluntly why does he think that I am insecure? I am pretty, quite younger than him, intelligent, and I have secured an interview next month for a very well-paid university lecturer post here in England. I already have two jobs. I am only insecure as a result of his disrespect to me, his meaningful smiles at me when there is any girl around. I swear, ANY, and I mean old, young, ugly, stunning, decent, loose, in the street, in the pub, in the shop... for God sake! He just looks at me and smiles as if he's found a weapon against me! I am also disavantaged in the sense of being a foreigner in his place, he thinks that marriage is his power over me, I believe. I asked him to forget it just to strip him of this great power. I never asked to get married during 3 and a half years together.
Today, he's received his last wages (as he lost his job), and he promised that he won't be irresponsible while I was at work, I came back after 6 hours and he's not in. so I left him a note saying that I was going out (and did so, had dinner out and just walked about for 6 hours). Came back, found flowers on my desk, fridge full of things he's bought, but he's left out drinking.
I guess he decided to do that only AFTER he saw my note.

I wonder, am I being stupid in the way I handle things? Am I the one who is inviting trouble? Am I really insecure?
I need help to cope with this. I have to see my supervisor next Tuesday and hand in 30.000 words, of which I only wrote 8.000.
Need help, advice on how to work under this pressure.





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