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Relationship Health Message Board


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we spent the whole of yesterday online talking....then i tell him i cant be friends because i felt as though my feelings were returning and i couldnt deal with it...he said he was ok with that
then he asked me if we should talk online about it, clear it up...i agreed
i told him about my regrets, doubts, and feelings returning since i had beent alking to him...he said he understood and felt the same
he told me he had broken up with that girl he was seeing and didnt know what was happening with her
he told me that maybe he too couldnt handle bein my friend because he gets jealous etc...
then we spoke for an hour on the phone about whether or not we should be friends and whether or not we should meet up next week to go to an evening lecture and indeed to the one after the week after that
i told him my fears of my feelings coming back, my life being unsettled etc- which is all wrong because my feelings have always been there and ive always been unsettled
he said that he is sorry i feel that way and if meeting up is not a good idea for me, then i should
we had such a great chat on the phone, he was saying the nicest things, we got along so well. then we concluded on the phone that we would meet up
then i sent him a message saying "i dont think i can do this, i still may be in love with you, i dont know, before it gets worse we should stop all contact"- he sent a message back saying yeah ok if that helps but im here if you change your mind
then i message him a few hours later saying "well ive spoken to james and itd be wrong to breakup with him becaue of my feelings towards him, i miss you, i think im just getting confused with missing smeone and wanting/loving somene. ive comapredyou to james and my male friends- i think i do see you in platnic terms- i just miss you thats all so i got ocnfused earlier. ill buy tickets for the lectures tomorrow and ill let you know"
another thing- ive told him that ive been seeing someone for the past month- his name called james- and that because of this whole mess im going to breakup with him- the real thing is that im single and there is no one else
IM SO CONFUSED as to what to do
again, im nt thinking rationally
i literally feel like crying
i dont want to meeet up with him in a week because i love him so much and am scared but at the same time im thinking maybe itd help things, maybe things would change and possibly develop
he did tell me we would always be attracted to one another
he also told me online he was scared to get back together with me because altho we are so attracted to one another, we get alog great, we have the potential to hurt one another....also plus i tink hes still in limbo with this girl
whilst we were talking he said he did have regrets about breaking up with me, because we got along so well and hes never seen a gorgeous girl like me- he said he compares all girls to me. he was messing around on the phone, joking around, and i said to him "i hope you werent like this aruond your ex, maybe thats why she ended things with you" because he was acting like a fool and he replied "no im only like this around you and my cousin"- he said that was a compliment

we get along SO well, we feel so cmfortable around one another
maybe ive just got to meet up with him and see what happens...be his friend...
sometimes i cant see how things wouldnt develop
but he kinda has made it clear that he does agree that if i have these feelings, its best we dont meet up

i wish i didnt want to meet upwith him but it is irresistable

help

do i....
1) tell him how i feel today, the truth, that i love him, and if we could discuss getting back together
2) meet up with him once or twice....and then bring up the issue

i dont think i can wait two weeks to bring it up...
but i dont think ive got any other choice

i love this guy...i really do

i wont doo anything unless ive heard your advice

please put me back on the right path

im feeling so awful....perhaps as worse as i use to feel a few months back

im constantly feelingsick and wanting to cry and sleep

help
thanks soap- id like to meet up with him but im so scared of dragging myself back down to where i was two months ago...ive become so much stronger recently, i dont know if meeting up with drag me down into the depression i went through

keepsgoin-
i do want to tell him "look, i love you, thats the truth, i want to discuss getting back together, we can think about it, meet up and see how it goes" blah blah blah- but i keep thinking because he is confused about this other girl, maybe i should give him time, meet up with him, show him what he is missing, make him realise im not going to be here forever etc...then see what happens...but again there is the issue of me being brought back down, getting upset and hurt etc...

ill give you guys an update from yesterdays post...he called me asking if we could still meet upi said ok, and told him that id got back together with my (pretend) boyfriend...we talked for one and a half hours. i was taking the mick out of him, and i asked him about his foot fetish (strange i know) and he replied i dont have a foot fetish, i only love your feet and still miss them- then he started to say how he missed my hair, my waist etc and how no girl can compare to me and he even compared that girls bottom to mine, saying mine was nicer- silly talk i know
we were just laughin the whole time having fun...

im soo confused...

i do want to meet up with him and see how things go...but im so ok with just letting things go now
i know for a fact he will never find anyone like me again...its his loss...im not desperate anymore...ive put things into perspective
but im still undecided because i do still love this guy...but i wont let myself get hurt anymore- ive decided that
recently ive been doing so well, getting over him...i can continue
i just want to know if there is a chance we could get back together...either i can ask him now or i can just meet up with him and see

my friend told me to wait for his phonecall next week and to tell him that i cant meet up with him because my (pretend) boyfriend has planned a special meal for me- this way till show him that im not always going to be there for him but explain to him that ive booked the tickets for the week after and when i do meet up with him, seem uninterested and make him do a little chasing...i could try to play him
but i dont know how ill react and i dont want to get hurt but i do want him....

see....this is my problem now...dont know what to do...
im in control but im still scarred...





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