It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I am dating someone who is so very nice and sweet to me. This comes at a time when I really need it. I had been dating someone who, while nice to me in a superficial way, I suspected he was seeing someone else (like he had a girlfriend before he met me, but wanted to have his cake and eat it too), so I felt kind of confused, used, etc.
My problem is, I want someone who is nice to me, who cares about me. I need that, but I don't think I'm physically attracted to this guy. I want to be. I want that to change, but does that ever really change? Is chemistry/attraction instant or can it grow? Will I ever be attracted to this man and if not what do I say? He deserves everything in a woman. I just don't know if I'm going through a phase or if I'm being too picky or sabotaging a good relationship or if the plain truth is I'm just not attracted to the man. (I guess he really picked a winner this time! LOL)
[QUOTE=tigerlillyrose]I am dating someone who is so very nice and sweet to me. This comes at a time when I really need it. I had been dating someone who, while nice to me in a superficial way, I suspected he was seeing someone else (like he had a girlfriend before he met me, but wanted to have his cake and eat it too), so I felt kind of confused, used, etc.
My problem is, I want someone who is nice to me, who cares about me. I need that, but I don't think I'm physically attracted to this guy. I want to be. I want that to change, but does that ever really change? Is chemistry/attraction instant or can it grow? Will I ever be attracted to this man and if not what do I say? He deserves everything in a woman. I just don't know if I'm going through a phase or if I'm being too picky or sabotaging a good relationship or if the plain truth is I'm just not attracted to the man. (I guess he really picked a winner this time! LOL)[/QUOTE]

If you arent attracted now you more than likely never will be, forget YOUR needs and stop leading this man on and let him go on to someone who will be attracted to him.
I didn't catch how long the two of you have been going out? From a female standpoint, I would have to say it usually takes a few weeks/a month to become physically attracted to someone if they are not visually appealing from the start. Are you saying that you still have absolutely NO attraction to him physically--not even a little bit? I would be concerned about that. If you are at least a little bit attracted to the idea of having sex with him, just not 100% gung-ho, give it time---but if you still can't picture being with him like that after a few weeks, forget it.

And even though you are going through a rough time right now, better to lean on the kindness of a friend, or let him know that he is one to you. Otherwise, it's like using him, and though you've told him you'd like to go slow, he may have understood that to mean there's hope if he sticks around.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:29 PM.





2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!