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OK I havent read through a lot these posts, but I just read the gist and wanted to comment, particularly on mada_3083 for saying EXACTLY what I was thinking while reading this.

I dont like how guys label women sometimes as 'party girls' or 'sexually active' and then derive that this automatically means they arent good girls. I can go into a spiel about the double standard, but I wont.
Heres a little bit about me for a personal ex:
Ive had sex with people Ive dated casually as well as with serious boyfriends, and I dont like to play games or act 'hard to get' b/c Im just too genuine with how I feel and that seems fake to me. This doesnt mean I throw myself at guys either, but my innocence from days past when I waited 9 months to lose my virginity to my first serious boyfriend is not the same anymore. I also get drunk and have fun with my friends and like to party on the weekends, and sometimes I hit it off with guys I meet and hook up with them. I dont have random sex with these people I dont know and I am cautious and safe with what I do generally in my daily life. ps- Im 23.

However, I think I am an amazing girlfriend. I recently had my heart broken by a guy who was a virgin, didn't drink, was Muslim and I was his first love. He was my first real love and I was planning on marrying him. I was with him for two years. I treated him like he was gods gift. In the end, this 'good guy' on paper was the one who fd ME over. What is funny is that if he would have looked at me and said 'nope, shes not a virgin, she parties and drinks (we met in college), so shes not a good girl and not worthy of my time', we would have never had the relationship we did. Ive been having a horrible time getting over him b/c he hugely screwed me over in the end, but thats beside the point. What Im saying is, dont be too quick to judge. Sure, I agree that meeting the person of your dreams in a bar where everyone is wasted and silly probably isnt the best way to go. But how will you ever find anyone if you are basing your search on these labels and assumptions? I actually consider myself a pretty special person who has a LOT to offer someone and I am hugely giving, especially in relationships. However, Im sure lots of guys could look at me and make the same assumptions you have made of girls you see and meet, especially when Ive had a lot of wine or whatever. But theyd be wrong, and theyd be missing out. Right now Ive been partying a lot b/c of my broken heart, rather than sitting home wallowing. Does that mean Im not worthy of a good guy looking for a special girlfriend? Not at all. A good friend of mine recently slept with a guy on the first date, and he told her later she thought she'd had a lot of partners because of that, when in reality she just got out of a 3-yr relationship and is merely just looking for different experiences. She was a great gf to her ex.
Ive actually had the bad luck of meeting guys who are non-commital, or wanting to play the field (including my recent ex after all we shared), so maybe a lot of these 'sluts' you speak of have had their hearts broken too from past rltsps where they were wonderful gfs. Just a thought. Mada_3083 and Veronica Mars already said it, but this is just some personal experience to share. Its good to have standards. And its also easy to judge and assume things when you're on a search for the right person b/c it lessens the time invested in people. Just dont assume your judgments are always right. You might be really missing out.





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