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Relationship Health Message Board

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I was trying to edit something and I ended up erasing the whole thing...lost energy to re-type it. Anyhow saying you should read the "Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins. This helped me gain a clearer understanding of human nature. Between our inherent selfishisness and societies condtioning of shame and praise...we are one messed up society, or messed up ppl. It really is quite toxic when you think about it. Society has always been trying to control us to be and act in a certain way. To get married, have kids, with the whole white picket fences and what not. I see too many unhappy married ppl though. Like I was saying I don't think human nature really intended for two people to be together forever. I am scared that I would grow sexually unattracted to my wife. Then I would get depressed and live my life through my career. Put all of my emotional investement into my children, and when they leave have a mid-life crises. I would miss out on all the selfish activites that I desired. It happens way too often. My parents did the exact same things, and many other families around us. I have already become a bit bitter about that. But it really is all about your attitude. I have receantly decided just to not care about what ppl think about me. Because for the most part it is not going to change thier life. Most people are so self-absorbed in thier own perceptions that they don;t even sit to think about the things you do. As long as your not completely runinng other's life...than what is the point of being a goody-good?

I do however believe that their will be that one person...or the way I see it an equal. Someone who looks at the world the same, and feels the same about everything as you. I don't know about marrying that person. But I have a feeling that one person will be the highlight of my life. When it comes to ppl all together I generally feel that I have more of a grapse on things then they do. A lot of times I hear them say certain things and it just boils me up inside how dumb they are. I always let it go because I realize that they just dont understand and are oblivious to certain things. Sometimes I get jealous of other's ignorance and part of me wishes that I was the same. But we all have our own percieved realities and I am sure some ppl have throught that I was ignorant or dumb. I really have come to realize that worrying about what other people think is unimportant. I try not to jump down other people throats anymore when they say ignorant just the way they are. I have learn to accept everyone for whom they are. It seems like if you get past the unattractive qualities of a person, everyone has a unique view on life that is worth knowing about. The only ppl I generally tend to avoid are the completely arrogant, narcissitic type...they bore me.

Anyhow, I am freakin neurotic myself...I am always changeing my mind about certain things. I always feel on edge, and never feel completely relaxed. I always have to be doign something. A lot of days I feel "stuck", like I am done with school now and I really don;t want to start a career. I have the ability but not the desire. I just never really know what I want to do. That so called "empty" feeling you were talking about before, it never let's me feel complete.

BTW Veronica, I would not feel bad about going out with guys with no relationship intention. I think most guys would be intriqued by that. If the guy does not have the proper social intelligence to realize that, then maybe he needs to learn. It is hard to get by in life without that social intelligence...maybe you could be the one to give him the heads up. I know I had a girl do that for me.

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