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How to handle this?
Apr 27, 2006
I'm going to TRY and make this as brief as possible, but I really need advice on how to handle a difficult situation.

My BF and I have been together for 3 years and have a group of friends that we associate with, do things with, etc. We're all pretty close. My best friend, is about 10 years older than me, which I met through work about 7 years ago. When we first met, she was dating "J", her and "J" broke up about 3 years later and she married "E", her ex "J" started dating "V" ...and strangely enough we're all friends, all hang out together, boating, weekends out of town, etc.

Now this past weekend we all went out of town for the weekend, had a wonderful time, lots of fun, etc. However, I "think" J was coming on to me. I wasn't sure, so I sort of ignored it. No one else seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary, and we were all together all weekend, so I thought it might be my imagination.

Now last night me and my BF went to dinner and ran in to J and his girlfriend V ....of course, we ended up all sitting together, and I still got that feeling that J was staring at me, smiling different at me, etc. Well, at one point J and I were the only ones at the table and he said ....."You always make me smile. There's something about you that makes people feel good. One thing I like about being around you is that you seem to have a good time just watching the grass grow and you make people have a good time also. I think I'm falling in love with you" .............WHAT !!! I didn't have a chance to respond ......First I was shocked, but also my BF and V came back to the table.

This is horrible !! How did this happen? I did not say anything to BF yet, and I probably should have .........but what? This is our group of friends, we're all couples !!!

I need to say something to both J and to my BF ........I'm just very uncomfortable and don't know how / what to say .......any advice?
The "group" of friends, are actually people I knew before my current BF, for about 4 years prior to my BF, however, I've been with my BF for 3 years now and we've all come pretty close. We ALL do things just about weekly together.

This has really put me in a very awkward position. My BF would by NO MEANS be jealous of me, J is older and definitely not my type, but still this is going to put a strain (to say the least) on all of our friendships.

If I say something to "J" .....his girlfriend "V" may find out .....not to mention that my best friend of 8 years (also in our "group") is "J" 's ex-girlfriend, and even though she's married, at times I can "see" or "feel" that she still has some feelings for him.

This is going to be awkward for everyone .......especially me.

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