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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Re: Losing it.
Apr 30, 2006
I can sort of relate to your feelings. I'm also considered pretty, in good shape, smart, and a decent person, but haven't had a boyfriend in a long time. I ask myself the same questions as you: how come all these people who look like a happy couple found each other, and I can't have that? I spend mostly every weekend alone and getting so sick of it, I could spontaneously combust sometimes :D I think partially it might be "fate," and partially it is because we kind of got used to the negative mode of thinking which perpetuates the cycle. I always thought it was easy for guys because it's socially acceptable and expected of them to ask a woman out. There were a few guys in the past who I wished so much they would ask me out, but they didn't, despite looking at me in a way that made me think they were interested. I am too shy to ever ask a guy out first, so for me, I will just have to wait till I meet someone who's brave enough. But in your case, if you're out somewhere with your friends or even just out in your neighborhood and you see a woman you find attractive, let's say at a cafe, why don't you just come up to her and try to start a conversation? You can say you've seen her before in the neighborhood and always wanted to talk to her, etc. Ask her if you can buy her coffee sometime. It's almost irrelevant what you say, just some small talk, because if she thinks you're cute and is also open to meeting someone, she'd be happy to talk to you. You might get turned down a couple of times--that's the risk you're taking, but don't give up. I mean, if you don't pursue women and don't ask them out, what are realistically the chances some random woman is going to come up to you in a grocery store and try to flirt with you?? You have to try and be proactive about it. Good luck!

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