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[QUOTE=jenna_250]Nina.....these two have an understanding, they are friends who sleep together once in a while...no big deal, and if both of them are ok with it so be it...as far as his comment, I would wager it was said as somewhat of joke, and I would also say that this guy DOES respect her, just because they are sleeping together without a commitment doesn't mean he doesn't respect her if that's what they BOTH want.


Also, if two people want a friends with benefits situation, and they both know where things stand, why is that wrong? not everyone wants a boyfriend and sometimes we just want a bit of fun, not just men but women too...don't really know what the big deal is as long as both people are honest about what is going on and their feelings about it...it's a much more honest way to live than pretending to be a couple when you aren't into it...[/QUOTE]

I think the main issue here is that citygirl's initial, knee-jerk instinct was feeling offended. I think we women really get off track when we start to deny our instincts and intuition because what our gut is telling us isn't socially acceptable. Her intuition is trying to tell her something. She should listen to it.
think the main issue here is that citygirl's initial, knee-jerk instinct was feeling offended. I think we women really get off track when we start to deny our instincts and intuition because what our gut is telling us isn't socially acceptable. Her intuition is trying to tell her something. She should listen to it.

I guess some might not see it as socially acceptable, others might. I'm married now but there were times in my life where I wasn't into a boyfriend or relationship, and I had a few bed buddies as well over the years. I didn't feel used in any way, we were both having fun, and we were friends, and we both knew it wasn't going anywhere for whatever reason... I think if one person develops more feelings though and wants more, they need to bring it up right away and get it out in the open...
[QUOTE=jenna_250]think the main issue here is that citygirl's initial, knee-jerk instinct was feeling offended. I think we women really get off track when we start to deny our instincts and intuition because what our gut is telling us isn't socially acceptable. Her intuition is trying to tell her something. She should listen to it.

I guess some might not see it as socially acceptable, others might. I'm married now but there were times in my life where I wasn't into a boyfriend or relationship, and I had a few bed buddies as well over the years. I didn't feel used in any way, we were both having fun, and we were friends, and we both knew it wasn't going anywhere for whatever reason... I think if one person develops more feelings though and wants more, they need to bring it up right away and get it out in the open...[/QUOTE]


I'm just throwing it out there. I could be totally wrong, but some people simply aren't the FWB bed-buddie just having fun type. Society tells us it's ok, that we should be cool with casual sex and both parties just having fun, and if that bothers you then you're an old fashioned stick in the mud. So people tell citygirl don't be offended, he didn't mean anything by it, no big deal, because it's not socially acceptable for her to be upset in this situation. You may never have felt used in any way in that situation, and that's fine, but some women feel differently. Some women just don't process this situation the same way. I'm just saying it's up to citygirl to decide what she really really wants, and how comfortable she is with the realities of this situation. I think some soul searching would do her some good.





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