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Relationship Health Message Board


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Sounds like you're a bit confused about what you want. You have every right to be offended by the "quickie" comment if you're after something more and were under the impression that what you have going on with him is more than that. However, it seems to me like you're a bit conflicted. On one hand, you say that this is just a "friends with benefits" situation. In which case, "quickies" are really the extent of the relationship. On the other hand, you seem sort of surprised by him suggesting a "quickie" because on other occassions, he's treated you like a gf. What I'm getting at is that if you want to be treated like a gf, then you actually have to be his gf. If you want to be a friend with benefits, then you have to be prepared to be treated like a friend with benefits.

So, IMO, it's not so much whether you are wrong to be offended that he treated you like a friend with benefits ... maybe it's more about the fact that you'd rather be treated like a gf. Maybe the "friend with benefits" isn't really working out for you? Maybe try to figure out if you would rather have a relationship - either with him or someone else - and not just quickies (which is really all you're gonna get / can realistically expect as a friend with benefits).
Thanks for responding. Yeah, I woke up this morning and thought I might have overreacted so thats why I posted. I didnt really overreact to HIM or anything thankfully, I just got pretty irritated in my own little mind and didn't know if I should have.
No, I dont want a relationship with him, I do know that. I dont really have romantic feelings for him. I enjoy him, but I dont want to be in a relationship right now, nor with him, Im still not over my breakup. If I wanted more I could have easily gone to dinner when he asked me I guess, but I sort of just want to hook up, haha. What I think my issue is is that Im used to the girlfriend role. Im recently single so I guess thats to be expected. I find myself getting sort of silently irritated or annoyed by something this guy does or doesn't do, and then I remember that this guy owes me nothing and vice versa. So while I do just see him as a friend with benefits, I guess the 'quickie' thing just reminded me of someone like a prostitute or something that would drop in, do their thing, and then leave. Im not expecting the fairies and bubbles like you said Char, hahaha, not at all, I guess the word 'quickie' just connotated a really negative thing in my mind. I dont mind casual sex at all in this situation as that is what it is, I guess quickie just got me riled up. Its probably me just being sensitive. I have pretty high standards for how guys should treat me and Im also super defensive after my ex broke my heart...but I guess I do need to check myself and make sure I have the right idea here. I do think you're right though jenna in that he meant nothing by that comment.





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