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Relationship Health Message Board


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i was in a relationship with a girl for the last 2 months that just ended. it ended on a good note, she was just visiting the place where i live so we knew the whole time that she would be leaving and that it was only going to be temporary. also we live very different lifestyles normally, when she came to where i live she changed her life a lot because she needed a break from her normal routine, but its not a way that she could ever live permanantly. basically we knew from the start that there would never be anything permanant between us and that it was just for fun.

anyway, she has a lot of issues and i realized pretty quick that it wasnt the kind of girl i am used to dating. she is extremely self-depreciating and doesnt have a single good thing to say about herself. she is really depressed and has incredibly low self-esteem. she is also 24 and never really had a realy relationship before. she`d never done anything sexual before. she`d never slept in the same bed with another guy before (which we did every night for 2 months) and it was all completely new territory for her.

those things were part of the reason that i was attracted to her. i always seem to be attracted to people that need help since i think i can help them. and i did help her. a lot. i know, and she`s told me many times. but part of the reason that she was ok with a relationship that would be only for a short time was that she didnt think she would get attatched since she never has before and she thought that i was just like most guys (aka only after sex) and she didnt really think i could help her much. but while she was getting really attatched to me i was starting to get annoyed with her.

now she is a really wonderful, awesome, nice, smart, generally great girl, but there are so many little things about her. mostly on the spoiled side with her being too picky and finicky about things and it started to annoy to the point that would have made me break up with most girls, but there was no way i could do it to her, it would have hurt her too much. one thing about her is every story she has to tell about herself, whether its as important as a boyfriend she had one time, or as unimportant as a picture she drew, every single story, without fail, ended miserably. either a boyfriend told her she was pathetic and dumped her, or she thought a picture that she spent 5 hours drawing was stupid so she ripped it up and threw it in the trash, whatever. every single story had a miserable ednding. and she is a beautiful person, and beautiful things should happen to her and i just couldnt do anything remotely mean to her since i didnt want to hurt her at all.

but anyway, what it comes down to was me really forcing it for the last couple weeks. i really wasnt into her at all by the end but im good enough at faking it that im sure she never noticed. and we talked about things, pretty much everything. thats the only thing i never talked about. but also she is pretty smart and picked up on a little bit, but not much and she never thought much about it.

so this morning i dropped her off at the airport and it was over. she said she would call me as soon as she got home and we were already making plans for visiting each other for a day, or a couple days here and there. which will be fine. seeing her again, as long as its for a short period of time will be great.

but i kind of feel a little guilty for what i did at the end. i think i did the right thing. it ended great for her and i think she will be happier after what we had and i think i helped her out a lot. id like to know what other people think but i really think i did the right thing.





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