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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Hi...I'm sorry for what you are going through. I broke up with my first love when I was only 17 or 18, after dating for two years, but I still remember what that felt like..I literally didn't eat or sleep for days and was extraordinarily depressed for a very long time. He betrayed me too - I actually gave him oral sex the day he broke up with me, and he had already been planning to break up with me. He had met someone else a WEEK, yes a week, before and left me for her, though he wasn't honest about it at the time...I remember feeling so angry after a certain point - I allowed him to take away all my power whereas he had all the power in the world and was very happy with his new girlfriend. Well, she dumped his sorry *** after about a year and he had to go through just what I went through. Just because he's happy now doesn't mean he will be forever, trust me. I'm not trying to promote the wanting of revenge on ex-boyfriends, but hey, it's nice to hear that the woman he left you for dumped him, who can lie?

The best thing that helped me during this time was for awhile just letting myself grieve. I cried and cried and cried until I was bled dry. I journaled a LOT I think I have a whole journal just about this issue. Then my friends started telling me I had to get up and get moving again. I wanted nothing more than to sleep in my Mom's bed all day (which I literally did do the first few days.) Then I tried to meet new people, I started going out more. It sucked at first but little by little I started to enjoy life again. What I don't recommend is to contact him in any way at all. I slapped myself on the head so many times cause in the beginning I would call him and beg him to take me back and cry and cry to him. If you don't call him or email him or anything you will get over him faster and he won't know you're so unhappy, providing the possibility that you are happy, which will take away some of that power he had over you. In time you start to care less and less and now when I hear about my first love dating someone (I'm 21 now) it genuinely doesn't affect me, and it feels GREAT!!! He sounds much worse than my guy even was though, cause with me sex and children and marriage were not involved. Please try to know that you deserve more. Use this time to wisen yourself and you have no other way to come out than on top.
sad song

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