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my boyfriend (f 2 1/2 years) and i are having a party at his house. my bf and i have a rocky past--we've broken up a couple of times. it took us a lot of struggle, but we realized how much we love each other and we've rededicated ourselves to the relationship. we've been together 7 happy months, he's asked me to move in, i'm thinking about it, etc.

so we're having a party and i told him that i was very uncomfortable with him inviting this one particular female friend of his because they've slept together. she's very attractive, sociable, and they've known each other for a number of years. now, we broke up and they slept together. he told me that she was the one that pushed it, he was really only interested in her as a friend, but they did anyway and he regretted it. he told her that he wanted to remain friends. we got back together.

we broke up the second time in Feb of '05 and they slept together AGAIN. a couple of times. we got back together and he had a talk w/her telling her that they weren't right together, etc. apparently she wasn't mad (i would be!). soon after she started dating this guy seriously who was rather jealous, and she didn't really call or hang out with my bf. they would get lunch about once a month, but that was it. i'm not crazy about the idea that they have lunch together, but it's not a big deal to me. lunch is lunch.

am i being insecure b/c i don't want her at the party? i don't know why, but i wish this girl would drop off the face of the earth. my bf assures me that she's very cool, and i'm sure she is (i don't know her at all). i know some of her friends and they are all nice people. my bf regrets that they slept together b/c he thinks that she and i would have gotten along really well--would probably even be friends.

here's a few more details. i made the request that she not be invited a few weeks ago. my bf agreed b/c he could see my point of view, although he made it clear that he felt bad about it. he tells me yesterday that he spoke to her on the phone and we started talking about the situation.

anyway, he said he wished we could all be friends (meaning her, her bf, me, and him). i said, it would probably be less threatening to me if we all went to dinner one night with another couple, and i could see her with her bf. also, her jealous bf would see you with me and it would sort of neutralize the situation. he agreed. i started asking about the bf--how long have they been together? (one year). do you think it will last? (not sure but i think it's cooling off).

so, i come into work today and i hear from a third party that this girl broke up with her boyfriend early this week. and so she calls my bf yesterday? and doesn't mention to him that she dumped her bf? NOOOO, I'm SURE she told my bf they broke up. and he didn't mention it to me. now, that doesn't make me feel too hot.

i just can't help feeling weird about her. my bf assures me that he loves ME and that he doesn't have ANY feelings for her (obviously he had the opportunity to be wth her). he says that SHE similarly has NO feelings for him. but i really don't know about that. way long ago (i'm sure he forgot he ever told me) he told me that she told him she thought they had chemistry/connection/attraction, whatever. and what kind of person allows themselves to get used twice by a "friend?" because honestly, my bf was wrong to sleep with her on two different occasions and then get back together w/me. if a "friend" did that to me, they wouldn't be my friend anymore.

i feel bad b/c i know my bf regrets not inviting her to his party. i also wish i didn't feel this way. are these feelings normal? am i insecure? am i wrong to ask that she not come? and i'm worried about the future, now that she's not with her bf. is she going to try to hang out with MY bf? b/c i don't want to hang out with her, and i don't want them to hang out alone together.

one more thing--my bf is inviting ANOTHER girl that he slept with while we were broken up, and that doesn't bother me at all. it's just this OTHER one that gets to me.

so am i nuts?

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