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Relationship Health Message Board

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have to disagree here that you are too clingy! I mean, you are a regular at this club too right? You have just as much right to be there as he does! Gosh. Men can't stay away from you when you first start dating, then all of a sudden, you're "clingy" if you want to be around them!


Ok I think I'm being misunderstood here. I never said there was anything wrong wtih being around your boyfriend, but to need to " always" be around is to me a bit clingy. I think we all have a right to have some time with freinds alone. Or even time alone. I love my alone time where I just go out for coffee somewhere and read a book, or go horseback riding alone, whatever. I think my point was that you shoudln't need be be around your partner all the time. It would drive me crazy if my husband always invited himself out with me and my freinds and felt he needed us to be together 24/7.

As far as you going to the bar, if you were going anyways, great, but it sounded to me like you were going because you knew he was there, to check up on him, and to me that isn't good. I mean you did drive by his house to check up on him, so I guess I made the assumption that is why you went to the bar too, sorry if that wasn't the case. And if you did go just because he was there to check up on him, then yes in my view he did have a right to be irritated with you.

As far as his friends go, you can't control who his freinds are, and you have to remember, they can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do. if he goes out with them, he is a willing participant in that. He is an adult and can choose his own friends. If you are insecure, that is your issue, becuase in all honestly, if someone is going to cheat they are, and no amount of worrying about it or checking up on them is going to stop that. Maybe instead of constantly worrying about it, realize that what will be will be and if he does cheat it's his loss and you will get over it eventually.

Maybe he doesn't tell you when he wants to hang out with his buddy because of your reaction. It doesn't sound like you are very easy going about it, so maybe instead of having a big debate and a scene, he just avoinds the subject altogether. Like if he had told you he wanted to go out with his friends, would you have been mad, tried to go with him, pouted, etc? I'm not saying you would do that, I'm just saying that sometimes rather than avoid a scene guys don't say anything.

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