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Hi Steph!
I totally understand what you are going through. I've been on both ends of this situation.

See, the thing is; when a person is in a happy, loving relationship with someone, it is easy to think….. “ok, I can be completely happy just staying in and renting movies and not spending any money with my boyfriend/husband”, or, “I can spend money that I do not have, go out with friends who are only interested in doing something that I cannot do anyway (meeting guys), only to wake up with a headache and an empty wallet.”
But that’s just me. I don’t even like the bar scene when I am on the prowl… ;)
I also know what its like to be strapped for cash…

However, I also understand where you are coming from because I have been there (and still am most weekends)! There’s nothing worse than one of your close friends making a comment like the ones you’ve posted above. I actually got to a point where I rather hang out with my mom than my friends because of their insensitive comments about how happy and fulfilling their lives were compared to mine…

I think all women go through this. This is when “Friendship” is really put to the test.

Just like in any relationship, there must be compromise…

I think your friends should make it a point to go out with you and have fun at least once a month on a weekend day. However, if for the majority of the time, they want to lie low with their fiancé’s/husbands and save money, you need to respect that. It’s a hard thing to accept, but when 2 people decide to get married, they automatically will come first to one another. It stinks, and it hurts, but that’s life and one day it will be you. (I went through a huge depression when my best friend from childhood got married. It felt like she broke up with me!)

Maybe you can look into some fun, cheap, week day activities???
I know in my city, week days are even more fun than weekends because the bars have all kinds of drink specials and the people are more down to earth. It’s more about having a good time with friends on week days, rather than the meat market bars turn into on weekends… I guarantee that your friends will probably be more willing to go out on a Thursday night, rather than a Saturday.

Also, you have to show them that you’re not using them to go out and meet people. I had a friend who always got upset with me and gave me the guilt treatment because I never went out with her and she was lonely. Yet, any time I would ask her to see a movie, or just come over to hang out (because I was broke), that was never good enough. Basically, she wanted me to go out b/c she didn’t want to go to a bar by herself.
When I did go with her to a bar, it was all about her finding a man. It didn’t even seem like she cared to talk or socialize with me.
I am not saying that this is what you’re doing in any way… But, be on guard because others may see it that way. (Us women are so complicated!) So, you also do have to make an effort to do the things that your friends like to do. Even if that means going out to dinner with them and their SO's once in a while… (I was a 3rd, 5th, and 7th wheel for a long time. You get used to it.)

Whoa, I’m just going to stop now, before I write a book… :dizzy:

I wish you lots of luck! I hope you have a fun weekend with or without them!!! ;)

PS - Keep in mind that its just as easy for an engaged or married friend to get jealous of a single one. Sometimes its not fun going to bars/clubs on a Saturday night. Its like being starved for a week and then having to look at a big fat cheese burger that you cannot have... :D





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