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Relationship Health Message Board

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In response to your various posts:

No i am not a virgin but i have only slept with 1 woman (albeit several times). I got on really, really well with her but she didn't want to see me anymore because of the age gap (at the time she was 33 and i was 23) and she didnt beleive there would be a future so she cut it stone dead before it got serious. This devastated me because i thought i had finally, finally found someone.

What am i looking for? Just someone whose fun and obviously who i find attractive, that does not mean she needs to be a 6ft model - but i need to be attracted to her. I suppose i like girls who are a little bit silly and clumbsy cos i find it cute but nothing is set in stone, im open to anybody and am in no position to be picky.

I know what Omaar is saying about making a woman feel admired, appreciated and good about herself - i couldnt agree more. When i am on a date i try my best to talk about her and give compliments without going over the top, trust me im well read on all the dating tips on the internet! But i dont beleive for one minute that every guy who has a girlfriend does that or did that when they were dating. I know of some guys who have no personality, no sense of humour, no ambition - nothing, and i find it hard to beleive they make women feel admired, appreciated and good about themselves, let alone develop a chemistry and emotional bond with women! These are guys who grunt and dont talk and who give you 1 word answers in conversation!

Maybe i dont get out enough, i work long hours some days and also like to fit in the gym and some running. I am definately going to try and get out more and try a bit harder, that way i can look myself in the eye in the mirror and say im trying my best. Nevertheless i dont beleive i should be in this situation at 24 years old. I honestly do beleive im a good catch and have a lot to offer a woman, and i say this confidently, NOT arrogantly.
[QUOTE=Mcgunther]Well at your age and my age(23) women are not typically looking for ultimate romance. I really dont know if they ever are. They think they are but it is generally not what ends up happening. Girls at that age want to be with guys who are fun, outgoing and are not needy. They dont want a guy who is constantly complimenting them and acting desperate. Are you being honest with yourself? Do you really want a relationship or do you just want to bang the bejesus out of a girl? See girls have become accustom to not trusting guys who come off as wanting to have a long-term serious relationship. IT does not fit right...and it screams out needyness. Really it comes down to attracting her, haveing sex with her and then forming a relationship. This is how society is. Don't beleive anything you see in the movies. Typically it takes longer for a girl to get into a guy than vice long as she is stable. They really just want a cool guy to have sex with and have fun. No mushy gushy I wanna spend the left of my life with ya crap. Dont approach a girl thinking about the long term. Think about just haning out with her like a good freind and haveing fun. Gotta be physical soon otherwise it is just friends time. you know who you are? Do you like yourself? You have to find inner validation first before you bring another into your life.[/QUOTE]

I think this makes a lot of sense as did what rapidfire said about confidence. Honestly, if you want to go out with a pretty, fun girl your age, you are going to have to win her over. The best way to do this is to be her friend first and also to remember that beautiful women are not necessarily stupid, some are actually quite ingenius, and women can see through a lot of nonsense. For instance...don't be like every other guy. On this website i'm on most of the messages i get say the same thing--"hey sexy, you're hot, i like your pictures." :rolleyes: I honestly got like ten messages that said that today when I put up all my pictures, and each one made me roll my eyes. I wrote back to one or two of them, but only because they were totally hot, not because I want to date them or have them be my boyfriend.

So PLEASE don't do the same cheesy stuff all the other guys do, you have to play hard to get a little and have your own life. DON'T try so hard with things like buying flowers, pulling out her chair, all this stuff seems kind of phony and desperate and doormat-ish. You have to be a little aloof at first so you seem like an intriguing challenge. Also, you have to make sure you are meeting attractive women in person by going out to parties, concerts, bars, sports, that kind of thing. Usually a lot of attractive women are congregated around college campuses, if it's a good college with graduate programs. Also, aim high, don't think that you don't have a chance with a girl just because you think she's really beautiful. For all you know she could be looking for someone just like you. And hey, is it true that the police in England don't have guns?

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