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Re: My new plan
May 23, 2006
[QUOTE=SophiaM]Stacy, regarding your ex, if you really feel compelled to get in touch with him, and you were the one who broke his heart, I think there's no way around it but to make that phonecall. But first I think you'd need to clarify in your mind why it is that you're seeking to reestablish contact with him. Do you want to possibly get back together? Do you want to just touch base and find out how he's doing and catch up on each other's lives? Do you want to be casual friends? Or do you want him to be a part of your 'guy harem'? ;) I think especially if you hurt him in the past, it would be better to have an idea what your motivation for seeking him out again is. Then based on that, you'd know better how to procede.[/QUOTE]

Tigerlily, I think you are right on target about friends vs. buddies. They are both fun and good to have, but they are definitely two separate groups. Once I know I can't totally count on someone I don't forget that and I certainly don't treat them as a true friend. Far too many people are just too nice in my opinion and get taken advantage of by the users of the world as a's not their fault, but it is within their control to some degree. It's so key to be tough about who you let be a special part of your life.

And Sophia, the more I think about my ex H, the more I remember how much I loved him, how much chemistry we had, how we had the most incredible sex life ever, and how much we know about each other. Yes, I want him back, I really really really do, but I don't want to admit it because it might not happen then. I don't know what he wants or expects from me, probably to hang out and see what happens, but I just can't resist him at all. Part of me has always been SO in love with him because he really stands up to me, challenges me, makes me mad, but also makes me feel happy and understood. Then the rest of me has always been immature and rebellious and wanted to run around with other men, but to H's credit, he seems to understand me and not judge me or cut me out of his life. At least not so far, and I am a lot more honest, upfront, respectful, and not hurtful now than I have been in the past. So here's what I'd like to happen...we get together, we play some game or sport like always, we fight, it's foreplay, then you know. I think that's totally feasible based on past experience if only I can play my cards right and be nice, but not too nice, and that if things go well, it's not out of the question that there could be another chance for us. Maybe I'm just thinking hopelessly optimistically, as I can't imagine being able to bow down and ask him for another chance. So much drama, but i can't complain, because I did it and because deep down right now anyway I love it.

To give you an example of our interactions I will borrow from my my space page where I posted up some especially humorous quotes from yearbooks/emails...this is the kind of way we used to, and still do, relate. Maybe I'm messed up in the head for being crazy for this guy, but for better or worse, he seems to feel more or less the same way.

So here goes:

What can I say to sum up the year except to borrow some of your most memorable words: but *****! Come on!!! or Im bored, do something about it! or It doesnt matter what you do, your paper will still suck or will you carry my books please h****, they clash with my dress and so on and so forth. This summer will be cool. also, youre my baby, dont let anyone tell you different. You are also very cute when you get angry which means you're always cute. I just know this year wouldnt have been as fun without you and neither will next year. Maybe next year though you could not get mad at me as much, I would appreciate that. Yeah, you've got points baby, Ill give you that, you can redeem them anytime at your local convenience store. Take it easy...H

your shortness is a credit to phildelphians everywhere and a midget contest with you leading the way is the only contest they could win. when i get back on thanksgiving i will beat you at 2k3 although i have never played it, and any other game you want, and it is you that quits all of our games or contests in one form or another becaue you know you will lose, i aslo notice
you are never on im anymore because you know i will just talk **** to you and youll have to take it, and you never could

"i hope you choke on keyshawn johnson's ****"
this deserves a place in our qoute hall of fame next too, "no sex just talk" and "why dont you ask me a fun question." im sorry about philly but deep down you knew they were going to lose, they had to its just the way it is, so remember you always have the flyers

----- Original Message ----
Sent: Tuesday, January 21, 2003 7:13 PM
i hope you choke on keyshawn johnson's ****. and that you fail all your exams. i was expecting something like this from you but this is such a terrible catastrophe that not even you could possibly make me feel any worse.
thanks, stacy

short short,
i did NOT have it coming, you dont understand i did nothing, NOTHING, i was just better that you at mariokart and you couldnt take it, not to mention that i was and am better than you at everything else except writing and reading. did you see those flyers get trounced by the wild the other day, great moment, along with the sixers going down youve had a great couple of weeks. anyway i gotta run hope all is well, H

the good old wild, i stayed up til almost 130 my time to watch the game instead doing either one of my two 15 pagers last night, it was beautiful, at least i still have one team to root for, what are u going to do in new york?, im going to be in boston until the 8th, then i come home for a month then im going to australia, now i have to get back to drinking

-- Original Message -----
Sent: Saturday, May 03, 2003 8:25 PM
Subject: i thought you were going to ask me a fun question
hi, i'm on my way to getting drunk all thanks to the flyers. sorry i haven't gloated in awhile, i've had four million things to do for school but now i am just about completely done which means life, once again, can be devoted to all the fun things. did you win at nationals? congratulations henry i am surprised you are able to fight your laziness and love of drinking enough to play sports. rugby, right? although if its anything like here i bet you get to do plenty of drinking. my high from the red wings loss is fading as the flyers blow it over and over again. the wild are going nowhere, way to have minnesota pride anyway though. are you going to be on the east coast this summer? i am going to new york. keep in touch > love stacy

heres a poem for you
you are short
and not tall
your eagles are winning
but they soon will fall
damn im good, im a poet and i dont even know it, dont stress out about school its not worth it, and i dont know what drama is going on in your life but its probably not worth it either, of course i sent your mom a thank you card, i always try to do that especially for her who does so many nice things for me(unlike her daughter....just kidding), anyway if you are feeling to special and perfect and need to be deflated or cut down and just generally ridiculed and beaten in every conversation/competition/get riledup like no one else can do, gimme a call you know the number babe, otherwise ill talk to you later, H-----

Original Message Sent: Monday, December 09, 2002 9:21 PM
Subject: Re: The eagles are still winning > look, i don't even need to change the subject. i've been waiting all my life for the eagles to play this well. how are you? i am one step from self-destructing at this point, way too much work and way too much drama in my life. is it possible that i am crazy? don't answer that. i miss talking to you

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