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Bitter friend...
May 19, 2006
Ok, so, I have a friend, I'll call her Natalie. Natalie hasn't had a boyfriend or dated anyone in years, so she relies heavily on her friends for a social life. Well, Natalie can be a bit unpleasant to be around sometimes. She claims she doesn't hate men, but many women get that impression of her. She refers to anyone whom she thinks drinks too much as "drunks" (even though she drinks). She sometimes says some nasty things behind other people's backs (beyond just gossip), then when she feels "left out" of social events or that she has "no life", she starts feeling sorry for herself. And [B]then[/B] starts in on the sob stories. (Teased as a child, rejected by her brother, mistreated by men, now my friends don't even care about me. etc., etc. :rolleyes: )
Sometimes Natalie and I have fun together, but because of her behavior, I just don't really want to make her a priority in my social life. However, because Natalie doesn't understand that she can't be included in *every* social event *every* friend she's had *every* time, she's dumped some of her friends, won't even speak to them. I tried to help work things out between her and some of these friends to no avail. Now I feel obligated to Natalie because I feel sorry for her. (I know, I'm a sap).
I guess my question is how to "encourage" Natalie to be more social with other people? I mean, she has friends and acquaintances. How do I tell her, "Invite so and so over for a glass of wine" or "Ask so and so if she wants to see a movie?" without it sounding like, "Quit depending on me for your social life and stop b*tching about not having one!" Any suggestions?

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