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Relationship Health Message Board

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My self-esteem right now is totally crushed due to my ex,so yes that is what it is. I am typically very confident in myself, but 6 months ago, the 'love of my life' who was also my best friend (and, I thought, future husband as we were talking marriage) moved to the city to be with me and go to dental school,and then in a matterof a month (ONE MONTH) stopped having ANY time for me, started ignoring me and then started treated me like crap(turning stuff around on me, etc.) I tried to compromise til I was blue in the face and even said "just give me ONE nighta week,just for us- no computer,etc (he would ignore me spending hourson theinternet).He said he didnt think he could do that. Two weeks later he broke up with me,crying hysterically, citing that the didnt know himself anymore, why or what was wrong with him and that he' needed some space and to find himself'.And if he 'had the time he would give it to me'. I was physically ill for weeks. We had talked every day, multiple times, without fail for nearly 2 years straight. I felt like i was on withdraw from a drug (or, I imagine its like that). He dragged it out for a month telling me he didnt know if it was over, yet getting mad at ME when I tried to get answers. He actually once said "I dont deserve this". I cut him off from contact. Two weeks later I found out he was seeing a girl in his program who lived downstairs from him, who I knew. I had even asked him if he liked her right when he broke up with me and he said "no, why would you think that?". Its because I could see something there, and there was a correlation with that and him treating me like crap. I also caught him in a few lies before the break-up to boot.

So yes, my self-esteem when it comes to relationships right now is very low from all this. In all other aspects, I know Im a person with so much going for me. I just feel frustrated that men dont seem to see these things i see in myself. It makes me wonder what is wrong. My ex was talking of rings and in the end, ditched me quicker than a piece of trash and didnt look back.I know that I liked the attention from this other casual guy,and he was sweet in the beginning and gave me an ego boost...just lately he turned into this guy who calls me at 2:30 am after not talking to me for 2 weeks, and, Im sorry, whether its a casual relationship or not I still won't put up with that. Im so defensive right now. I just feel stupid that I actually care, and that I told him I was upset. I feel like its making my already destroyed ego even lower. It was so fun and distracting in the beginning, but I dont find it fun when the guy comes up to where I live from out of town and doesnt even want to see me but for a few drunken hours (on his part) with 5 minute notice. Im just beating myself up that I let all this happen when Im merely trying to heal. I feel stupid that this is how it turned out.

ps- as far as your rltsp, babiblujay-- sounds a LOT like mine with my ex I speak of, in that I did everything in the end, all the thinking/emotions, put in all the effort, and he totally took me for granted. Trust me, it does wear on you even if you dont want to recognize it because hes such a great guy. I resented him so much over time,for other reasons too. I understand what you're saying. Oh, and I will be 24 next month.

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