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Need some advice..
May 29, 2006
Well, I was talking to my doctor the other day, and he said I should look up information about birth control for myself and my girlfriend, saying we should not be using just one method. I remember she had made a post about it a while back, so I decided to check to see if anyone had given some useful information. I had no clue where it had went, so I just searched posts by her username, however the first thing post that came up was for a topic she had made about cheating.
I know I probably shouldn't have, but I read it, I always want to know if there is something wrong in our relationship so I can try and fix it.
In the post, it explains how we met, on an online game (we have been together for just over 2 years now, I am 20, she is 21), and then about a woman I used to be with long ago. I had told her everything about the relationship I had with the woman, and when/how it ended, however she says in the post that the first time she came here to visit, she read my msn chat logs, and saw chats between the woman and myself that were suposedly after me and my girlfriend were together, even though I know for a fact that I had stoped talking to her before I got together with my girlfriend (I know this because when we broke up, we were playing a different game than the one I met my girlfriend on). She never said anything about it, and a while after, she moved a long distance to live with me.
She then talks about how our relationship is going well, how we rarely argue, and when we do it is only small, usually about going out places (she always wants to go movies and stuff, even though I try to explain that they are expensive, around $40 per movie, and we should be saving our money, I need to since I am in college and don't have a good job). We both still play online games with eachother, we both really enjoy it.
She then wrote about how we had met a girl, both spending time with her on the game (quests and such), and how she then suspected something was going on between me and the her, because I would still do things with her while my girlfriend wasn't on. I stoped hanging around her, when she started to try and get.. let's just say a little too friendly, and right away my girlfriend did as well. She says in the post that she confronted me about it, however I actually asked her if she thought I was cheating on her with the girl (another friend of ours told me my girlfriend was worried about it), and I explained to her what happened, and why I stoped talking to her, and my girlfriend said she believed me. She then says how a while later, she found pictures I had of the girl on my computer, I had not shown them to her, but really I didn't see any reason to, as I have always collected pictures of friends I meet in games, and she knows this. I have to admit she could have got the wrong impression from the pictures, as the only ones the girl said she had were ones a friend took of her for some sort of art project, her being in a nurse uniform, another more of a goth picture, and one of her wearing a towel with her back to the camera. I just thought of them of pictures of a friend, though it seems my girlfriend does not think so. She has never asked anything about the pictures or the girl, and wrote on the post that her problem was how to confront me about them.
The normal replies continue in posts, about things she should think about and such, though I am surprised after how bad she made me look, no one said straight out that she should leave me, like I have seen in many other posts.
When she makes a reply, the last post, it says how she isn't ready to give up, but also that she doesn't want to be with someone like me forever.
It was really hard to read through this final short post, I know that I would never even think about cheating on her, I love her too much to ever do that, and to read her saying she doesn't want to be with someone like me forever, it really hurts.
We spend a lot of time together, she has not even bothered making a friend here over the year and a half she has lived with me, and seems to get annoyed if I stay after class with some guys there.
My real friends have always been girls though, not guys, girls are who I can really talk to and who I feel most comfortable with. I know I am kind of flirty, and my girlfriend has always known this, being the reason why she liked me in the first place, and she says she knows I mean it as harmless, and it's true.
I don't have anyone here to talk to about this, but I have been thinking for quite a while about marriage, and asking her to marry me. I couldn't imagine not being with her, not being able to hear her voice or kiss her lips, and it makes me want to ask her more and more, but then I think about how she has never once told me she loves me.
Then I see her post here a few hours ago, and haven't felt this upset for a very long time. It's hard to think that the person I love so much might just be staying with me until she can find someone better. I'm really not sure what I should do, should I tell her I saw the post, and talk to her about it, should I try to forget about it and just try to make our relationship the best I can, hoping for the best? I don't want her to think she can't come here for help thinking that I will just come and read it, I know she needs her privacy, but how can I help our relationship when she will not talk to me about these things, and I never find out about them? Even if you have criticism for me, anything would help. If she would be better off without me, I need to know. I want what is best for her, she is the most important person in my life.
I would greatly appreciate any advice anyone could give, and I'm really sorry for this being so long, thank you for taking the time to read it.

Matt





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