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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years now. Our aniversary is in September. He is 33 and I am 25. He will be 34 in August. He recently went back to school so he could get a better job and possibly support a family. At least that is what he mentioned. Anyway, during this time he moved back in with his parents, so he could afford to go back to school. He recently graduated in May and is working. The subject came up and I asked him what his plans were... you know, is he going to move out of his parents house, now that he is done with school. Well, he said that he was thinking about moving in with his friend Kyle for a few years, and them maybe building a house in the meantime. I have two problums with this. The first one is that Kyle is kind of a party guy. He is in his 20's. He has 3 kids with 3 diffrent women. (that is why he can't afford to live alone.) He also drinks quite a bit. I just have a feeling that if my boyfrined moves in with him that there will always be a party going on and that there will always be lots of girls over. I trust my boyfriend. But I just feel that he should be starting to settle down a bit and not living with swinging singles. Am I wrong to feel this way?
The second reason that I am opposed to this is that I have told my boyfriend quite some time ago that I wouldn't just date someone for as long as 3 or 4 years. I mean you have to draw the limit somewhere right? I just feel that after a certain amout of time that you should be able to tell if the person you are with is right for you... and if not, you should move on and not date for 4 or 5 years. Maybe I am just young and nieve. This is the longest relationship that I have ever been in. It just bothered me that he said that he was going to move in with his buddy for a few years... because that implyed to me that he isn't going to ask me to marry him for at least two more years. We discussed moving in together when we first started dating, but I told him that I couldn't move in with him unless we were at least engaged because my mother is very religious and It would really stress her out. I just didn't want to put unessicarry strain on my relationship with my parents. I don't know what to do. I am not sure if he is leading me on, or if he does want to marry me. I was thinking about calling it off after a certain period of time because I want to get married and start a family and maybe he really doesn't. Why would he move in with his friend, if he really wants to get married. I mean he has made comments like "when we get married..." How can I tell if he is serious or not? I mean now that I think about it, my boyfriend is not the most romantic guy in the world. I can't even picture him proposing or going on his own innitiative to buy a ring. I could be wrong. Maybe he will suprise me. However, any insight into this matter would be greatly appreciated. Is it wrong to not want to be in a relationship that isn't going to the next level? :confused:





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