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Relationship Health Message Board

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The thing is, that's a wonderful thing to be able to trust someone no matter what...but it's not very realistic. Maybe I'm just jaded, but I think most people have trust issues with the person they're with. And not just because of lack of respect or being cheated on, but just normal worries and concerns.

And insecurity comes into play. Even if you trust your boyfriend 100%, it's hard to feel totally comfortable when he's in a strip club. Or alone with a female friend in her apartment until 2 in the morning. I think it's normal to worry in certain situations, and question your trust for them. Because it's only realistic to know that some people give into temptation. It's human to make mistakes, and no ones perfect. So who's to say the person you're with won't make a mistake with someone else?

If you look around, scorned people are all over. People were cheated on, they trusted their partner completely (or as much as possible) and got screwed over. People can look you in the face and lie. I don't know, it seems natural to worry about certain things. It'd be great if trust was never broken and you could believe everything your boyfriend/girlfriend said, but it doesn't seem realistic to me. I think it's human nature to be insecure sometimes, and to worry about being lied to/screwed over. As long as there's overall trust and respect, I don't think doubting it sometimes is such a crime, I think it'snormal.

but like I said, I'm jaded, so I wouldn't put much stock into what I say. :p
I get what you guys are saying, I have been cheated on in pretty horrible situations as well. My ex fiancee cheated on me with one of my best friends, another guy I was dating slept with a girl I introduced him to, so yes, I have dated and been hurt before just like everyone else. But is the solution for our partners to live in a bubble? Sure, people can make mistakes, but again, is the solution to not ever get into a situation where you might make a mistake? I can't help but think it isn't. My husband was also cheated on before me, and it was when his girlfriend was away on a girls trip, but does that mean I should never go on girls trips ( something I really enjoy) just because someone else screwed him over? we don't think so and I still go away without him. Maybe this has to do with self esteem, like I know if my hubby cheats, even once, he is gone, he is aware of this. I would not give second chances like other people do, and I KNOW I would be ok no matter what, so I don't live in fear of it. It would suck big time, but I would be ok. I for one do not punish my hsuband for things others have done to me. And honestly, I wouldn't want to be with him if I thought he was only being faithful because " He never had opportunities"...

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